Guest Post: "Gary"

Hello all! I have a guest post for you all from my buddy "Gary." Enjoy!



If you ever had any questions about the gay dating scene in DC, rest assured it’s no different from the straight scene.  I recently went on, what I have no hesitation describing as, the worst date imaginable.  This was not a date where I look back and reflect on how terrible an evening it was.  No, I knew halfway through this was a disaster and I still had the second half to suffer through.

This was the second date with a guy named Nate, who I met on an online dating site.  Our first date had been sub-par, but I know first dates can be difficult so I decided to give it another shot.  Because the first date had been in my neck of the woods, we decided to meet downtown near his place.

I arrived downtown and was lucky to find parking on the street very quickly.  I gave him a call and let him know I had parked.  He said he was right around the corner and on his way.  Five minutes later, no Nate.  Ten minutes later, he texts me and says he is running a little late.  15 minutes later, no Nate.  Finally, after I had been standing on the street corner for 20 minutes, Nate shows up.  He had a bizarre excuse for being late.  He told me he accidentally sent a text to the wrong friend and that friend then became upset and a 20 minute text/call argument ensued.  

After waiting 20 minutes for him, we were finally on our way to the restaurant.  As we were walking, Nate mentions that the restaurant we are going to only accepts cash.  No surprise, Nate doesn’t have cash on him.  Not wanting to pick up his tab, I suggested we go to an ATM. Because he didn’t want to pay an ATM fee, he decides to go to the local grocery store 2 blocks down and get cash back.  As we were walking to the grocery store, he points out his apartment, which was 1 block from where I had been standing the previous 20 minutes.

When we arrived at the restaurant, cash in hand, we quickly got seated and ordered.  Throughout the entire dinner, our conversation was constantly interrupted with him continuing his text argument with his friend.  Personally, I believe that when out on a date, the phone is off limits, unless it’s important, in which case you apologize to your date.  I received no such apology.

As the dinner continued, the phone did eventually make it to his pocket.  We attempted to carry a conversation but it was going nowhere.  Fed up with the rudeness, and terrible conversation (I think he even started talking about a Law and Order episode) I tried giving him the verbal queues that I was ready to leave.  My “It’s getting late”, “I should be getting back” and “I don’t have much more time on my parking meter” were too subtle for Nate to pick up on.  Finally after the waiter mentioned that customers were waiting for a seat, we left the restaurant.  

As we walked back to my car I didn’t think the evening could get any worse.  I turned the corner and spotted the worst possible person in DC.  The devil’s own public servant.  A meter maid.  Walking away from my car.  The 20 minutes of waiting on the corner, the grocery store cash back, the long and pointless conversation had taken up the two hours I paid for on the meter. This date was going to cost me more than the $20 I spent on Italian food.




And there you have it, folks! Let's hope to hear more from "Gary"!

"Jake"

Next: "Jake"

Jake was a really nice guy but a little odd. I thought he looked attractive in his photos and seemed to be a really well rounded guy, also. He had studied abroad, traveled a LOT throughout the States, interested in a lot of different activities and hobbies, something I really look for in a guy. We messaged a bit and then he asked if I wanted to get together one weekend. I suggested drinks at one of my favorite restaurants which happened to be fairly close to him, also. However, there was something a little off putting, more so of a flag going up, about him. He had mentioned in his messages that he had a bit of a limp when he walks due to an accident when he was young. Apparently, when he mentions this to girls in messages they stop speaking with him.

A few thoughts crossed my mind.

1. How many shallow girls are there out there that would just stop talking to a guy be cause he mentions he walks with a bit of a limp?

2. How bad IS this limp?

I felt bad thinking that, but I will admit, I was curious as to what this limp was like. Anyways, we met up on a Sunday and I got there first. I waited inside the lobby area since it was quite warm outside. Then, I spotted him. I noticed him right away.

We hugged Hello and went on inside. Grabbed a high top in the bar area and started chatting away. He talked A LOT. Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. It was hard to really finish a story or anything because he would kind of interrupt and then go on for 10 minutes about some other related subject. It was nice to finally meet a guy who was so chatty since I've met a few who don't chat at all (cough, Dave, cough). But good gracious. However, during all his talking, and during all my listening, I really picked up on a few things. I felt as if it were kind of distinct that because of his disability, it has kind of affected his social skills when it comes to the art of conversation (this coming from the girl who mentioned poo on a first date. Whatever). I just felt like he wasn't really picking up on my body language and wasn't really listening to ME when I spoke.

However, there was one MAJOR turn off. No, it wasn't the limp. He had mentioned in a message that he was looking to move to a new apartment. I had asked how his apartment search went earlier that weekend and he said that overall it was good. Then he mentioned he had spoke to his mother about looking for an apartment. Well, as he described, she was just quite ruffled that he was looking again and hadn't yet mentioned it to her. She INSISTED that she take care of his apartment search so he didn't have to worry about it and could focus on work. Oh yea, I forgot, she lives in Minnesota, not here in DC.

I understand being close with family; family is important to me too. However, I feel as if there is a certain point in one's life where you learn to take care of your own problems and RESPONSIBILITIES and not have to have your parents do it all, especially something like finding an apartment, the place where YOU are living, from hundreds of miles away, in an area in which THEY THEMSELVES do not live. He also mentioned that one of his SISTERS had created the online dating profile for him, not him.

I take care of all of my own problems/situations. I find my own dwellings, I seek out my own dates, I take initiative in my life when and where I need to take it. I consider myself a fairly independent person, for the most part. So, this dependency in which "Jake" relies so heavily on was a major red flag to me that things would definitely not work out between us.

Lesson learned: Physically characteristics aren't always the deal breaker. Sometimes it really is a personality thing.

"Dave"

Next: "Dave." AKA: WORST DATE EVER. I would have much rather had a date at Mickey D's and devoured the above than have gone on this date and wasted 3 hours of my life.

It didn't start off nearly as bad as it ended. I was ECSTATIC about this guy. He was almost like the male "Me." I was like "This is perfect! I love this guy! He's so amazing!" We immediately clicked with messaging. We had the same sense of humor, great banter between us, chatted all the time. We really got along well and I was super excited for this date.

We met up to play some shuffle board one evening. I was super nervous because I was so excited to finally meet this guy; I had high expectations. I was running about 5 minutes late but managed to find him once I arrived. He was pretty cute but I seemed to sense that he wasn't quite as excited to see me as I was to see him. However, we were already there so we moved on over to pick up the shuffleboard stuff. I took the initiative to ask for it, and we were on our way.

Shuffleboard was fun! He first beat me at the first game and then I beat him at the second game. We had some banter going and overall I thought "This is going well! Not great... but well enough!" We decided to call it a tie and end there.

We went back to drop off the shuffleboard items. I ended up paying. He did the motion to his pocket move, but allowed me to pay. I honestly don't mind paying, but don't be shady about it.

We then moved over to the bar.

I should have left had I known what I was about to get myself into that evening.

The US vs Mexico soccer game was on that evening. My dumb ass actually attempted to have a conversation with "Dave," and apparently he had other intentions, none of which involved me. I would ask "Dave" a question, he would look at me, then turn back to the TV, which had the game on, and would answer with a short response, and say nothing more.

During commercial breaks he checked his phone. I glanced over at one point and he was on gchat.

I thought about messaging him from my phone via gchat, but I refrained. I'm a lady (kinda).

This lasted for 2 hours. I know, I know, I know. I should have gotten up and left when he whipped out his phone for the tenth time and I realized that he was on gchat.

The game finally ended and I suggested leaving. He agreed. But then we sat there for another 15 minutes.

No, I don't know why I didn't just leave.

EVENTUALLY we left, which was the most awkward walk back to a metro, ever. He even started making those popping noises with his lips.

He did apologize for not being very talkative. I said, "Its ok." It wasn't ok.

We parted ways.

That following Monday, I noticed that he had blocked me on gchat. I'm just upset he got to it first.