"Jake"

Next: "Jake"

Jake was a really nice guy but a little odd. I thought he looked attractive in his photos and seemed to be a really well rounded guy, also. He had studied abroad, traveled a LOT throughout the States, interested in a lot of different activities and hobbies, something I really look for in a guy. We messaged a bit and then he asked if I wanted to get together one weekend. I suggested drinks at one of my favorite restaurants which happened to be fairly close to him, also. However, there was something a little off putting, more so of a flag going up, about him. He had mentioned in his messages that he had a bit of a limp when he walks due to an accident when he was young. Apparently, when he mentions this to girls in messages they stop speaking with him.

A few thoughts crossed my mind.

1. How many shallow girls are there out there that would just stop talking to a guy be cause he mentions he walks with a bit of a limp?

2. How bad IS this limp?

I felt bad thinking that, but I will admit, I was curious as to what this limp was like. Anyways, we met up on a Sunday and I got there first. I waited inside the lobby area since it was quite warm outside. Then, I spotted him. I noticed him right away.

We hugged Hello and went on inside. Grabbed a high top in the bar area and started chatting away. He talked A LOT. Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. It was hard to really finish a story or anything because he would kind of interrupt and then go on for 10 minutes about some other related subject. It was nice to finally meet a guy who was so chatty since I've met a few who don't chat at all (cough, Dave, cough). But good gracious. However, during all his talking, and during all my listening, I really picked up on a few things. I felt as if it were kind of distinct that because of his disability, it has kind of affected his social skills when it comes to the art of conversation (this coming from the girl who mentioned poo on a first date. Whatever). I just felt like he wasn't really picking up on my body language and wasn't really listening to ME when I spoke.

However, there was one MAJOR turn off. No, it wasn't the limp. He had mentioned in a message that he was looking to move to a new apartment. I had asked how his apartment search went earlier that weekend and he said that overall it was good. Then he mentioned he had spoke to his mother about looking for an apartment. Well, as he described, she was just quite ruffled that he was looking again and hadn't yet mentioned it to her. She INSISTED that she take care of his apartment search so he didn't have to worry about it and could focus on work. Oh yea, I forgot, she lives in Minnesota, not here in DC.

I understand being close with family; family is important to me too. However, I feel as if there is a certain point in one's life where you learn to take care of your own problems and RESPONSIBILITIES and not have to have your parents do it all, especially something like finding an apartment, the place where YOU are living, from hundreds of miles away, in an area in which THEY THEMSELVES do not live. He also mentioned that one of his SISTERS had created the online dating profile for him, not him.

I take care of all of my own problems/situations. I find my own dwellings, I seek out my own dates, I take initiative in my life when and where I need to take it. I consider myself a fairly independent person, for the most part. So, this dependency in which "Jake" relies so heavily on was a major red flag to me that things would definitely not work out between us.

Lesson learned: Physically characteristics aren't always the deal breaker. Sometimes it really is a personality thing.