Dazed and Confused

I did it; I went on a date with the "New Guy" this past Friday, and let me tell you, I was very pleasantly surprised! But now a little confused with myself; I'll explain below.

I was nervous going into this date for many reasons, but did it to keep an open mind and not limit my options. We decided to meet at one of my favorite restaurants that I had already been to twice for dates. It was SUPER crowded when he got there and I was running REALLY LATE. I was trying to decide which route to take and I picked wrong. For those of you in the area, you are quite familiar with the HORRIBLE traffic that plagues the nation's capital. I decided to take I-66 West at 7pm on a Friday; the only smart decision in that is not taking it between 3:00pm - 6:00pm. Whatever time it may have been, I should have taken the back roads but I sure did not make that choice. I apologized a few times for my tardiness and tried my best to get there as fast as I could.

When I finally arrived, he had put his name down since there was a wait. I felt terrible; here I was, 15-20 minutes late, and on top of that there was a 30-40 minute wait at a crowded restaurant that I had picked out that he had never been to before. I sure made quite the first impression. We made small-talk and patiently waited till our buzzer went off. Finally, it did and we were whisked away to our table.

The restaurant we went to brews their own beer and so I was excited to show him through the menu. I just realized while typing that sentence that I kind of sound like a drunk. I swear I am not; I just really enjoy trying new beers and wine. Anyways, we ordered drinks and some food; that was a little bit awkward because I had suggested drinks at 7:30pm and thought that was clear enough, and late enough, that dinner wasn't going to be an option. Well, of course he hadn't eaten and ordered dinner and I awkwardly ate my pretzel bites.

We chatted away and overall I'd say it went really well! I was really surprised how well conversation seemed to flow at first and it was not what I was expecting. From what I remember, we talked about our hobbies and things we like to do in our free time. It was fun learning what each other's likes and dislikes are and really getting to know one another. Time really flew by because when I looked at my phone I had realized over two and a half hours had gone by!

Overall, I thought this guy was really nice and I did enjoy spending the evening with him. For some reason, I just don't have that spark quite yet and would be open to the idea of a second date with him to see what more may develop between us. We have texted back and forth some since our date, but a second date has not been set up yet. If he does ask, I'll say yes to give it another go. Keeping my options open here.

Although it may be too early to get to this point, I have been thinking a lot about the pros and cons to both "New Guy" and "Tom." There are things I really like about both of them and then there are things that I'm not quite as thrilled about. This is the part that is beginning to get me really confused. I know I don't have to make a decision between the two of them right now, but it is definitely in the back of my head and something that I'm concerned with that may develop into that situation down the line. We'll see; can't worry about something that hasn't happened or exists.

Until then.... swim on.

The Toilet Situation

So, last time I left you, I was very unsure as to what was going on with my life and quite done with this whole dating thing.

Eh, well I still kind of am, but not. Not everything has gone down the crapper (ba-dum-shhh). Over the past week, there has been more talk between "Tom" and I and it seems to have picked up, again. One thing I think I'm having a hard time dealing with is that things between us are going kind of "slow" for my liking and I've had a really hard time trying to figure out what the hell is going on. But... it has been good for me to be taking things at a slower pace; something that I haven't really experienced with previous relationships.

"Tom" and I have kept in touch over the past week and tried to get together this past weekend but that fell through. Really fell. Fell right down into the crapper. Literally.

"Tom" was out of town this weekend but asked me Sunday about hanging out later that night. I said sure, come on over, and was expecting him almost any minute. Well, a minute turned into several minutes, which turned into a half hour, which turned into an hour, and then hours. That's right; he never showed up. I. was. pissed. Livid, really. 

Back up a few days, I had been wondering just how into me he really is and have had a lot of trouble being convinced that someone actually is attracted to me. This is an insecurity that I've been trying to work on and trying to muster up some sense that someone out there in this ocean, there is another fish that digs this fish, baggage and all.

Anyways, I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. I was really confused, oh yea, and pissed off. Did he decide he didn't want to come over? Did he fall asleep? Did his roommates drag him into something? What the heck is going on? I kinda freaked.

I texted him an hour later asking if everything was alright. Nada.

Next day; generally if I text him late, he'll respond the next morning. However, I didn't get anything. I was even more pissed. I have had this happen to me so many times and have been jerked around so much that frankly, I'm over it. I'm tired of dating, tired of playing games, tired of it all. I was vowing to take a long hiatus from the dating world if I never heard from him again.

So, of course I discussed and digested the situation with my close cohorts. Do I text him again? Do I call him? Do I wait? What do I do? And here is what I decided: to do nothing. That's right, I waited. I decided that if he wanted to come around and explain himself, he can and I will let him know that this behavior will not be tolerated. Otherwise, it's not worth my time and energy to go fishing after him for a half ass explanation.

And that is exactly what happened folks. Later that afternoon, he came around and I got a text from him. And it read:

"Hey!! I dropped my phone in the toliet last night.... I don't have your number [written down, I assume] either and I forgot which apt u are!! Sorry. Just got it fixed..."

Ok, I wasn't sure what to believe. I was like.... really? He dropped it in the toilet? Should I really believe this? This is absurd. What kind of excuse is this?

Then I thought about it. I've dropped my phone in the toilet, and more times than I'd like to admit. I decided it must be somewhat true, and knowing him as much that I do, this was entirely possible and I knew he was unsure as to which apartment I live in.  But I wasn't sure how to respond. So I came up with this:

"Hahahahahahahhahah oh lordy"

I mean, what else was I supposed to say? I could have been a huge bitch and been like "Really? Then prove it." but I didn't want to be like that. I kept my cool.

So, then we texted throughout the evening and the convo went well. I then found the confidence in me to believe that perhaps he really did drop it in the toilet. However, after that evening, I didn't hear from him. Back to being confused.

Wednesday afternoon, I decided I'd shoot him a text. He has been looking for a new car so I was curious if he was successful in finding one. He responded back with that he had found one, but he would text me more after work. And he did. We went back and forth and finally I enticed him to come hang out with watching regular tv and some wine. I think it was more the wine than the tv that got him.

He came over and it was awkward. I opened the door and he walked in. What was I supposed to do? Hug him? Kiss him? Tackle him? Do nothing? So, nothing I did. I had already poured myself some wine so when he got there I poured himself a glass, too.

Then we sat on either side of the couch. Yes, I'm in middle school. I wasn't sure what to do because I was so nervous that he was actually here, living and breathing, in my living room, on my couch. It was awkward at first but I tried to make chit-chat to sound like I was interested in him. After a while, we got more comfortable around one another and things clicked. By the end of the evening we were cuddled up on my couch and watching one of my favorite shows. Overall, it turned into a successful evening.

Lesson learned: to trust more. I think I need to trust in others more, as well as myself. With time, I think this will get better and I'll learn that not everyone is an asshole. Time does amazing things for tricky situations and especially so when it comes to dating and relationships.

The Dirty Deets

I know I've been some what vague about the dirty details of my dates with "Tom." 

Yes, we have kissed. And a fair amount. Ok, a lot. 

The first kiss was somewhat awkward. During our second date, after a few drinks had been consumed and we were shaking it on the dance floor, there was that "in the moment" kiss that kinda just happened. At first I thought it was kind of awkward, but it took a few more tries to feel out each other's kissing style. However, after much practice, I think we've got it sorted out. :)

We are still chatting it up. 

No talk yet of a 4th date. 

Keep ya posted. 

Third date's a charm.

Had date #3 with "Tom," and it went well!

Earlier that day, I woke up at an ungodly hour of 5:15 am for no good reason. I couldn't fall back asleep, and by the time I was ready to shut my eyes again, it was time for me to start getting ready for work. Work was work, and that afternoon we had a "staff meeting" in which we open a few bottles of wine. I think the wine helped me relax my nerves a bit, but once I got home I was rushing around trying to clean things up and get myself ready. "Tom" was running a bit late due to car troubles, so it was good that I had the extra time to get things done.

We first met up at the metro and hopped on to go have us some of the best burgers ever. He had never been to this joint and I couldn't WAIT to take him since he mentioned burgers are one of his favorite things to eat. And it was a hit!!! We got there at just the right time; before the dinner rush. We stood in line, looked over the menu and picked out the best burger for ourselves. We got our number and LUCKILY found a table; probably one of the hardest things to do in this place since its small and always busy.

He seemed to enjoy himself because: 1. there was very little talking and 2. he DOWNED that burger. There was NOTHING left on that plate. I was still half way through mine when I looked over and noticed he had one bite left. These burgers are 10 ounces of amazingness and there really isn't much room for anything else once consumed. We sat there in our food comas for a bit and chatted about... whatever came to mind.

I feel like we're reaching that awkward spot of we got past all the stuff we wanted to know about each other, or the interview period. Now, I feel like it was a little difficult to chat because we don't have that common background and really anything to go off from. We're complete strangers meeting via online and that's the biggest thing we have in common. We don't have mutual friends, we didn't go to the same school, and hell, we're not even from the same area. So it's hard to find things to relate with one another on other than "What food do you like?" "Burgers." "I like burgers too."

Aside from that weird feeling, I really do like this guy a lot. I like hanging out with him mostly because I feel like myself when I'm around him. He's goofy, caring, respectful, but still can be ridiculous and a bit of a smart aleck, so I like how balanced he is. I really do enjoy his company even if we might not always have something really interesting to talk about; he puts in an effort and it shows. We're still getting to know one another better and I think with time we'll feel each other out and that connection will become stronger and the awkward phase will go away.

Anyways, after we finished dinner and let things settle, we decided to walk back along the main road and just kind of took in what was around us. Since he is still new to the area, he's still unfamiliar with where things are, so it was fun pointing out my favorite spots and discovering new places together. We eventually decided to go to this wine bar off the main drag that I had been to once before and really liked. When we walked in, there were no open tables, nor any spots at the bar, so we had to stand. My feet were KILLING me after walking up hill for a mile in "cute" boots that weren't the best walking shoes. I got a glass of white and he got a sampler of three whites. It's a nice little wine bar that's fun for dates, out of town visitors, or just catching up with friends. Once we finished that, we decided to go back to his place real quick to pick up the bottle of wine we bought the week before on our second date, and then headed over to my place to enjoy it on my balcony. Overall, it was a nice and relaxing evening, especially since I have a slight cold and we both woke up way too early for our liking.

After we parted ways, we had chatted about possibly getting together saturday evening, but beacause we both had things going on earlier that day, we didn't end up meeting up. Another date has yet to be set, but I'm still as anxious and excited to see him again as I was the first and second time. I'm not sure if its obvious, but I kinda really like this guy. :)

We'll see what happens!

Date Night! Round 3!

Tonight is Date Night! 

"Tom" and I are going on our third date tonight.

We were going to go get our golf on, however someone's car had to go into the shop and can no longer drive. 

So, I suggested we get burgers instead. 

Not just any burgers, but the best burger I've ever had. Seriously. 

I'm not sure what we are going to do afterwards, but we'll be in serious food comas. 

Whatever we end up doing, hopefully it doesn't require much movement nor consumption of anything else. 

Maybe we'll just sit there. In silence. Taking in all that is burger. 

Mmm. 

"Tom" is awesome.

After successful 1st and 2nd dates, "Tom" and I will be going on our THIRD date this Friday!

We coordinated last night to see what day might work best for each other and picked Friday. A time hasn't been set, but then again, it's fairly early in the week. Either way, I am so excited to see this guy again! 

I'll keep ya posted if anything changes!!!

"Tom" Date #2

Last night I had my second date with "Tom."

Before the date happened, I was ECSTATIC to see him again. There was something about him that I felt like really clicked between us. I was SO NERVOUS about what to wear, I even made an emergency mall shopping trip to find SOMETHING that I would feel comfortable in. After showing my roommate about 5 different cardigans with one top, and then trying on different tops after that, I finally settled on a sweater, jeans, and wedge sandals; whew.

Finally, 6pm rolled around and I started to get really nervous/excited. I finally got a text from him that he was downstairs in his car. I flew out the door and headed on down; I haven't been this excited in so long! I walked on over to his car, hopped in and we were off! We first headed to what we thought was going to be a wine bar, but it was actually a wine/beer/cheese shop that offered free tastings. After looking over the store and trying a few tastings, we decided to buy a bottle of white for a later time/date. Since the place wasn't what we were expecting, we decided to go across the street and grab a bite to eat.

Dinner was nice; conversation seemed to flow well and I just felt like I really connect with this guy. We sat outside since it was cool but not freezing; my ideal weather. I just really enjoy "Tom's" company and feel so much like myself when we are hanging out (even thought it's been twice now). We wrapped up dinner and discussed what was going on later that evening. Some friends and I talked about meeting up at a bar so I invited "Tom" out with us; not sure if this was my best move inviting a guy I had met TWICE to meet some of my closest friends. However, he was down for going out and if we were going to see each other any more down the line, he's eventually going to meet my friends. First, we swung by his place to drop off the bottle of wine where I walked into the living room with all of his roommates sitting there. I. Felt. Nervous. Not only was I nervous about seeing him again, I was NOT anticipating meeting his roommates.

They seemed like cool guys and to help break the ice I mentioned how "Tom" showed me a picture of one of them in his halloween costume; Borat. Yes, the thong swimsuit. "Tom" showed me this picture before dinner, which did kind of kill my appetite for a few minutes. Since we then had something to discuss, it made me at least feel a little more comfortable. However, we didn't stay long and decided to head to the bar early.

Meeting friends for the first time is so awkward. I was not anticipating this happening so soon, but it did. And it went alright! However, I felt like we weren't all able to talk since it was loud and we were kind of sprawled along the bar. After getting enough drinks in us, we headed to the dance floor. We got our bogey on. I got mine on so much that I totally bit it on the dance floor. I went down hard and fast. I couldn't believe that I totally just fell flat on my ass in front of this guy who I was totally crushing on. Good job, me. "Tom," helped me up and we laughed it off and kept dancing the night away. At the end of the night, everyone dispersed and we went on our marry ways.

I really like this guy. I'm not sure if there was enough interaction with "Tom" and my friends, but I'm hoping in time that they get to know him better and see what I see. I haven't felt this comfortable around someone in my life. He's weird just like how I can be weird. He's sarcastic how I'm sarcastic. We can joke about pretty much anything and know that in the right light, anything can have humor (almost anything). I'm just so happy I have finally met someone who has as much energy as I do and wants to have fun with everything they do. FINALLY.

"Tom" and I have other plans this weekend and said we'd keep in touch and plan something for later this week. I know there is that bottle of wine sitting in his fridge so I'm hoping we can crack that baby open now that its sufficiently chilled, just like our butterflies.

Date Night!

It's Date Night!!! 

I am SUPER excited to see "Tom" again and I hope it goes just as well as it did on Wednesday. 

Can't wait to report back!!! :D

"Tom"

"Tom" aka Sweet 16.

 Let me just say, this is the 16th guy I have met through an online dating site. 16. 16. 
Maybe this bothers me more than it does anyone else, but after 4 months, good googa mooga.

"Tom" was AWESOME.

This was the best date I've had in a LONG time with someone who I felt like I REALLY connected with!!!!!!!!!

I am STILL EXCITED from last night!

Ok. So. "Tom" messaged me last week on a whim; and it was a breath of fresh air, let me tell you. I was like "Finally, a guy who seemed normal." Our messages were brief but enough to keep messaging back. This past weekend he asked if I wanted to get together sometime for drinks; I obliged. I gave him my number since I figured it would be better to contact each other that way than to constantly check the site.

"Tom" texted me on Tuesday afternoon about getting together Wednesday evening. We went back and forth as to where to meet and finally settled on a time and location. I. Was. Stoked. I didn't really know a whole lot about this guy but from what I gathered, he was my type. I wasn't sure how I would feel physically towards him, but gathering from his pictures, he was someone in which I would find attractive, at the least.

Wednesday did not start off the way I wanted. I woke up late and only had minutes to spare before getting to work early/on time. This means, I had ZERO time to do my hair. Yes, the hair. I was frazzled. My hair was frazzled. It was pinned up and thrown in a messy bun and was anything but hot; maybe a hot mess, but that's it. I was trying to make sure I didn't get stuck late at work because there was a shower that needed to be taken and hair to be did.

Remember in my last post, how my cleanliness levels were directly proportional to my interest in a guy? Yea. I bathed this time. I went all out.

After I got all ready and beautified, it was time to head out. Of course, it was raining. And I decided to walk. I attempted to wrap my hair up and make sure it was protected. But that didn't help. When I arrived, I realized I was nicely mistified and my hair was starting to retract back to its normal, frizzy self. What's a girl to do? Anyways, I arrived after a brisk walk on over and was ready to go.

I wasn't quite sure where he was, but I saw someone at the bar sitting by themselves. I wasn't about to walk over and be like "Tom?" however, that would have made for a really interesting story. Anyways, I checked my phone and by the time I was about to respond, he came walking on over. We said "Hi," shook hands, and then the interview began. The shaking of the hands was odd, but I dealt.

We awkwardly walked around trying to find a place to sit and finally landed at a high top table. We ordered some beers and just started chatting away. We clicked. It was ........ AWESOME. It was so refreshing to finally meet someone who I felt like was my compliment to my personality. I really enjoyed getting to know him and felt like he is exactly my type; has a lot of energy, but still laid back, and very much a guy's guy. We talked about EVERYTHING. And I enjoyed listening to everything he had to say. In my head, I was going over things that I look for in a guy and he met a lot of the criteria. I felt like this is someone who would be really fun to hang out with and try new things and I can introduce to a lot of different friends of mine.

Towards the end of the evening, he asked if I wanted to get together again; OF COURSE I said yes. He asked what my weekend looked like and we settled again on another day and time. Yes, that's right. This little fishy caught a second date; hook, line and sinker. Who's the fish? I am. We decided to head out and he offered to drive me home. It was a quick trip home since we both live very close to one another and met at a restaurant that was less than a mile away. We confirmed, again, about meeting up TOMORROW for our second date.

I am so ecstatic to see this guy again. Not only is "Tom" my type of guy, but he also felt like someone that I SHOULD be dating. It feels so nice to come out of a date being like "BINGO!" we have a winner. It has put me in a great mood today and I can't wait to see him again. Sorry, that was kind of cliche, but it happened.

Date number two; let's do this.

"Mike 2"

Up Next: "Mike 2"

This picture are the actual flowers he BROUGHT me to our first date and I took once I got home.

I melted.

I REALLY liked "Mike 2." He was pretty much almost perfect. He was funny, he had great taste in music, he was caring, witty, motivated; almost the perfect guy (Seriously, a true gentleman). I was so excited when we finally set up a date on a Wednesday in Mid July.

The date was amazing. I show up, nervous as all hell, only to walk in front of the restaurant to see two friends, another couple, sitting right outside the restaurant having drinks. There was no hiding; I was right there and so were they and they aren't the type of people you can pretend you didn't see. They're my friends for Pete's sake. So I said "Hi," and we chatted and such. Well, I tried to chat. I spilled the beans right away that I was there waiting for a blind date. They spoke but I was so nervous, I honestly wasn't even listening. I kept nervously dancing around and tripping over myself. At one point, I "went in side real quick to see if he's there waiting" (and I knew he hadn't arrived) but I felt the need to send him a quick text saying that I'm waiting outside with my friends who happen to be there.... AWKWARD.

As I stood there, barely standing from being so nervous, I finally spotted him walking up the street. Under my breath I said "Omg there he is." And just stared as he came up the sidewalk. He was carrying something, and I thought "Is that a bag in his hands? Why would he be carrying something that looks like a gym bag?" Then I realized it was flowers.

As he approached we noticed each other and once he realized it was me, he had a huge smile on his face. I must of looked like a tomato, I could feel myself blushing so hard. He said "Hey," and we hugged "Hello" and then I said "Annnnnnnd these are my friends! Yaaay!"

Yes, "Yaaay!"

He was totally cool about it. He's the type of guy who makes small jokes here and there, so that's exactly how he handled the situation. He said "These are for you," about the flowers and pretended to put them in my friend's drink as if it were a vase. I swooned. I was on cloud 9. I couldn't believe this was happening. Here was this tall, handsome guy who brought me flowers and was just such a delight to be around; one of those people who just ooze great energy.

We made our way inside and sat down for dinner. I laid the flowers there on the edge of the table and so the date began. We spoke about everything; sports, work, family, school, music, etc. Just a normal conversation with someone who I felt like I knew forever. We ate and continued to just chat away the evening. When we were all finished our waitress had a surprise for us.

She came over to our table asking if we were all done with our meals. We said yes, and she informed me that my friend had left some cash with her for us to use to split a dessert.

AS IF THE EVENING COULDN'T BE ANY MORE PERFECT.

We said that we were stuffed, so I ordered another beer instead. I couldn't believe this was all happening. I don't think any guy has treated me like this on a date. I was seriously blown away. It gave me hope that great guys do exist and are worth all of those toads you come across along the way.

We wrapped up the evening and he walked me back to the metro. We hugged goodbye and said we would be in touch. I ended up taking a cab home since it was late and the metro usually runs slower in the night. I sat in the cab and was the happiest girl in the world.

When I got home, he sent me a text saying he had a great evening, and I replied that I did as well. He said it was his pleasure to take me out for the evening. I couldn't get over how sweet and polite he was, and to all people me.

I had a hard time falling asleep that night.

I got to work and told a few folks about the evening. I was in the best mood I had been in for a long time. We stayed in touch over the next few days via text and FB chat. Conversation went well but then it began to slow.

After a few days had passed, and although we stayed in touch, there was no second date planned. I decided to ask him on Sunday evening what he was up to that week. He said nothing at all and we planned for another date on that Wednesday, a week after the first.

We decided to meet closer to him, and after a long day at work I was running a little behind when I drove up to meet him. I showed up and we met at this small Italian place, which was delicious.

Something was different this time. I'm not quite sure if it were because we both had long days at work or if something happened. Conversation didn't seem to flow at first and it wasn't clicking as well as the week before. I tried my best to just think of SOMETHING to talk about, as long as it wasn't poo like the date I had with "Kevin," lesson learned, got it. I knew that he had enough when he was looking for the waiter to get the check. We wrapped up dinner and walked to my car across the street. We parted ways, and over dinner I had tried to drop that I was going to be on vacation the following week out of town, but it was clear he wasn't really looking to know of my whereabouts. We hugged goodbye and I said I hope he had a nice weekend and we'd be in touch.

We haven't spoke since then.

You win some and you lose some. If anything, I learned from this date that nice guys do exist.