Lulls

So, later, I realized that yesterday's post might of been.... weird. 

I'm not sure I fully grasp what unrequited love is, but it seemed relevant to what's been on my mind lately. 

However, now that I am no longer on any online dating site, I've had a lot of questions and been thinking "Now what? What do I do now?"

I've wanted to take some time for myself and accomplish some goals of mine.

However, I've still haven't shaken the feeling of wanting to meet new guys and see what else is out there.

One of the reason's I've stopped online dating is because I noticed how much time, energy, and effort I was putting into it and not in other areas of my life. It hit me that I need to put that same amount of time, energy, and effort into achieving those life long goals that I've had and that I'll meet people along the way.

This experience has been an interesting one. 

I've really enjoyed using this blog as an outlet  for describing the highs and lows of my dates and exploring who's out there. 

However, posts like these about thoughts and questions are an example of a lull; a reflecting period when there are no guys present in my life. The first 25 posts or so were the recap of 3 months of online dating.

 It didn't all happen at one time and thank god it didn't; that would be exhausting. 

I just happened to write it all in a matter of a week when really it took weeks.

I know my posts have been farther and fewer in between one another in the past few months, but that is the nature of dating. 

I don't go on dates every day, let alone every week. They just happen when they happen. 

I'm sorry if these past few posts aren't stories and bore you, but this is the speed of which dating takes in my life. 

Sometimes there are one or two, maybe three, guys who I am chatting with or have dates lined up. 

And then there are periods where there are NONE. 

My point is, not every post is going to be about some amazing or horrible date, and they aren't going to happen once or more times a week. 

They happen when they happen. 

So until then, hold tight. You know I'll write about it when it does happen. 

Unrequited

This is something that's been on my mind the past few days, so this post is really a stream of my thoughts, opinions, and questions that keep boggling my mind as of lately. I've seen it not only in my current situation, but also in that of others.

It's unrequited love.

I think almost everyone can relate to unrequited love to some degree.
There is always that yearning after someone who has you so blindsided that you may miss out on other, great individuals.

It's that "I like him/her but he/she doesn't like me back" situation.

I've analyzed and over analyzed this situation for days, weeks, months, possibly years on end as to how to get out of this funk.
I have no real answer, thought, nor opinion other than: time.

Time..... apart.

That's all I got for you.

Time away from said individual seems to be the only medicine that has worked best for me.
When I am in this type of situation, when I cannot for the life of me get over someone, it usually takes me some time to come to the realization when my feelings aren't being reciprocated and then it takes even more time to understand the "Why not?". And during all this time, I try to separate myself from them so I don't have any temptations or reasons to go back to the individual.
It is a sucky period of time and one I wish I could shorten.

This kind of connects back to an earlier blog post about wanting to know "why?" someone never returned your text, call, message, etc. and why things didn't work out. I understand that I'll never know why he never called back, or whatever it is he did or didn't do. However.....

I want to know why it's so difficult to get over some individuals than it is others. 
Why do we hang onto something that isn't there?
Why do we have such strong feelings for certain individuals who can't give us back what we need?
Why do we drive ourselves crazy over one person?

I try to convince myself that it's all in my mind and spin it with "I deserve someone who will treat me better. I deserve someone who will give me what I expect and demand out of a relationship. I don't deserve to be treated like this by someone.... anyone."

To an extent, I believe this is true. However, I still feel as if it only masks my feelings rather than resolving the issue at hand.
It excuses that I feel a certain way about someone that I can't seem to cut out.

You can't help how you feel, especially when something feels "different."
There is that un-explainable feeling you have as to why it feels right to you and no matter how hard you try, you can't explain that feeling to others. Or, is it just that it's nice to have someone to think about? Are we only kidding ourselves by doing this?

Overall, what I have found works best for me is recognizing that you, yes you, deserve someone who reciprocates those same feelings back and you shouldn't waste you time on someone who can't give you those feelings back. And the only way I've learned to heal those wounds from this "individual" who has caused you all this grief, is to distance yourself and give yourself the time to heal. Step back and focus on you and what you want rather than someone who can't give you what you want and need.

That's my two cents... or sand dollars, rather.

Too Small of a World

It is a small world after all and we're stuck on this Disney ride for life. Damn it. 

So, I used to play dodgeball with a social league in DC. I took a break, and now I'm back. 

It's kind of awesome, I'm not going to lie. 

However, there are LOTS of people who do dodgeball, or one of their other sports they offer (volleyball and kickball).  

After reffing a game, the team headed to the bar as per usual. While sitting around, another group walks in; I happen to turn around. 

BAM! THERE HE IS! 

THE FICKLE PICKLE STRIKES AGAIN! 

I slightly panicked. I was like, "OH CRAP. TERRIFIC. JUST WHO I'D LIKE TO SEE."

I was all jittery inside and freaking out...... and for no good reason.

Then it hit me; I shouldn't be the one freaking out; HE SHOULD.

 He's the one who never called me back! 

He's the one who bailed! 

Not I!

Why was I so freaked out?! 

Anyways, I guess I'll be seeing the Fickle Pickle every Sunday around 5pm at the bar. 

Yaaaaaaaaay. 

(Insert lots of sarcasm)

A Break.

Hello, again.

So an update. 

I haven't heard from "New Guy" since Sunday. 

Maybe he could sense that I wasn't 100% in this, or maybe I'm not his type. 

It's alright, cause I'm thinking he might not be my type either. 

Although our date was enjoyable, I just didn't feel a spark. 

I tried my best to keep an open mind and not limit my options. 

Oh well, moving on.

"Tom" and I met up this week and chatted about things. We've decided to take a step back and just be friends. 

I do enjoy spending time with him, however, right now I don't think it is the best timing. 

I'm glad we can at least be friends but disappointed I won't get to see where this could have gone. 

He really is someone that I could really see myself with and I think is the type of person who really compliments me. 

I haven't been able to say that in a long time. 

Lesson Learned: Timing is everything. 

Dazed and Confused

I did it; I went on a date with the "New Guy" this past Friday, and let me tell you, I was very pleasantly surprised! But now a little confused with myself; I'll explain below.

I was nervous going into this date for many reasons, but did it to keep an open mind and not limit my options. We decided to meet at one of my favorite restaurants that I had already been to twice for dates. It was SUPER crowded when he got there and I was running REALLY LATE. I was trying to decide which route to take and I picked wrong. For those of you in the area, you are quite familiar with the HORRIBLE traffic that plagues the nation's capital. I decided to take I-66 West at 7pm on a Friday; the only smart decision in that is not taking it between 3:00pm - 6:00pm. Whatever time it may have been, I should have taken the back roads but I sure did not make that choice. I apologized a few times for my tardiness and tried my best to get there as fast as I could.

When I finally arrived, he had put his name down since there was a wait. I felt terrible; here I was, 15-20 minutes late, and on top of that there was a 30-40 minute wait at a crowded restaurant that I had picked out that he had never been to before. I sure made quite the first impression. We made small-talk and patiently waited till our buzzer went off. Finally, it did and we were whisked away to our table.

The restaurant we went to brews their own beer and so I was excited to show him through the menu. I just realized while typing that sentence that I kind of sound like a drunk. I swear I am not; I just really enjoy trying new beers and wine. Anyways, we ordered drinks and some food; that was a little bit awkward because I had suggested drinks at 7:30pm and thought that was clear enough, and late enough, that dinner wasn't going to be an option. Well, of course he hadn't eaten and ordered dinner and I awkwardly ate my pretzel bites.

We chatted away and overall I'd say it went really well! I was really surprised how well conversation seemed to flow at first and it was not what I was expecting. From what I remember, we talked about our hobbies and things we like to do in our free time. It was fun learning what each other's likes and dislikes are and really getting to know one another. Time really flew by because when I looked at my phone I had realized over two and a half hours had gone by!

Overall, I thought this guy was really nice and I did enjoy spending the evening with him. For some reason, I just don't have that spark quite yet and would be open to the idea of a second date with him to see what more may develop between us. We have texted back and forth some since our date, but a second date has not been set up yet. If he does ask, I'll say yes to give it another go. Keeping my options open here.

Although it may be too early to get to this point, I have been thinking a lot about the pros and cons to both "New Guy" and "Tom." There are things I really like about both of them and then there are things that I'm not quite as thrilled about. This is the part that is beginning to get me really confused. I know I don't have to make a decision between the two of them right now, but it is definitely in the back of my head and something that I'm concerned with that may develop into that situation down the line. We'll see; can't worry about something that hasn't happened or exists.

Until then.... swim on.

New Year, New Guy

Hello!!!!

I'm here to confirm that I will be having a date tomorrow evening! 

It is with the guy who I feel like our communication has been sparse. 

I'm hoping this fish gets blown out of the water, because I'm honestly not really excited about it, but maybe because I have other things on my mind. 

But, I'm trying to keep an open mind and at least give it a shot. 

It's drinks; if there is one thing this fish likes to do, it's drinking. I mean, I am a fish after all... right? 

Kawabunga, dude!

And a Happy New Year it was!

First off, Happy New Year!!!

I hope you all had a great evening and celebrated it with great friends and family! 

Now for an update.

Lets see.... 

"Dude," who I still haven't met, texted me happy new years earlier in the evening. I was a bit surprised since I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks. I don't really understand the allure of texting with someone who you haven't met nor do you even talk on a regular basis that you have zero idea if there is any potential. I guess I'm a good texter? I might just be blunt with him and say "Hey, we've never met and have been talking for over a month. Do you want to set something up? Otherwise, I don't understand where this is going." Or.... well something to that effect. I don't want to feel like I'm being jerked around and I really don't see the allure of just texting with it not going anywhere. I mean, the point of these DATING sites is to meet people to DATE, right? So.... don't text me.... take me on a date. Let's see what happens. Good grief, this is exhausting. 

Again with the jerking around, I haven't heard from "New Guy" yet about setting something up for this week. I am not pumped up yet about this guy since his messages have been sparse. I'm kind of like "Why are you interested in me in the first place? We haven't even gotten to know one another! I know nothing about you and vice versa!" So, we'll see if anything happens, but I'm not holding my breath for now.

Ok, the juicy part. 
"Tom" is back in the picture. Since he was so adamant about hanging out this past week, I decided to ask him to the party I went to for New Year's Eve. He said "alright" and I gave him the details. I didn't hear much from him on the day of and felt like things were still sporadic between us; just no consistency. I got ready for the party and headed over with some friends and tried to not pay any attention to the fact that I hadn't heard from him. While enjoying myself with my friends and making new ones, I got a phone call from him! I had just missed it, so called right back. He answered and asked if he could still stop by; and I said of course! He said he'd be right over and he was. I was honestly really surprised and nervous and excited and everything all at the same time. I met him outside and we hugged hello before making our way inside. I felt like it was a little awkward because he knew very few people and we were just starting to hang out again, so I felt like there was and is some awkward tension.

Before he arrived, I wasn't sure if he wanted to be just friends or maybe something more. Well I eventually got my answer. At one point, I was catching up with an acquaintance from my dodgeball team who I hadn't seen in a while and learned that he and some other fellow dodgeballers have been reading my blog. (Hello Dodgeballers!) This meant that "Tom" was off on his own for a wee bit braving the party alone. Well, eventually it was narrowing down to midnight, so I decided to make sure "Tom" had some champagne. I noticed that something seemed off with him and I asked if he were alright; he said yes. The countdown arrived and I wasn't quite sure if he and I were going to exchange a kiss at midnight. So with an awkward moment, I turned around and hugged my friends first and then turned back to him. There was another awkward moment, but then he leaned in and it was quite clear; a kiss was in order. I smiled, gave him a peck, and said "Is that what you wanted?" He smiled and I was quite please that this is how I brought in the new year.

We eventually made way to the couch and decided to sit for a while. We chatted some, and at some point he expressed that he was a bit "jealous" that I was chatting it up with an old dodgeball teammate of mine. I assured him that he was a friend and we were catching up. I'll be honest in that I was a bit pleased to hear this because I felt like it gave me a sign that he's actually interested in me and did mind that I was out there talking to other guys. While sitting on the couch, we talked some, actually a lot, about "us," however at one point he was getting ahead of himself and I had to step in to let him know that he was doing so. I simply put that I enjoy spending time with him and right now there isn't anyone else in the picture; it's really just that. Although I am "talking" with a few guys, I have not had any dates since seeing him last nor have I met any of the guys I've been talking to. Also, I don't have very much interest in getting to know them since they haven't made an effort to see me; that doesn't exactly scream "I'm so interested in you!" by ignoring me half the time.

What I do know right now is that I like being around him and he makes me happy. I've never felt this comfortable around someone until he came along and I am really enjoying what time we do spend together. However, I'm not sure where this is going, nor am I certain that I want to pursue more if he's going to be wishy-washy with his behavior towards me. I just want to enjoy now and live in the moment; just see what develops and cross that bridge when we get there. He asked me to be honest with him and if I have anything on my mind to just speak it, so I will hold him to that in the future.

Overall, it was a terrific way to ring in the new year and I don't think I would have changed a thing.
Here's to new beginnings. 

Going out with a bang

Hello folks!!

I feel like I owe you all one last post before the new year. 

And it has also been a while. 

Not a whole lot to report but still enough to drop by and check in. 

The "Dude" I was supposed to go on a date with, and then he canceled, and then asked about rescheduling never set any rescheduled set plans. I actually haven't heard from him since last Tuesday morning and today is Thursday. I do know he's out on a cruise, but frankly I don't really care where he is at this point. He lives too far away, anyways so I suppose it's best we never went on a date. Ehh. 

"Tom" has been quite communicative this past week since we last hung out and he explained his disappearing act. I'm honestly not sure what is going on, but he is very adamant about hanging out again and soon. My game plan is to just hang out and see what happens. Since our "talk," I know I can be honest and straight forward with him if I'm confused as to what's going on. For now, I'm really not trying to think about it until something actually happens between us. If something does, I'll definitely write about it! Hold tight until then. 

In other news, I may have a date next week! New year, new guy! I have been messaging with this one guy, and although it's been quite ... I guess sparse is the best word that comes to mind right now..... in our conversations, I think it at least leaves us with plenty to talk about on a date. Since the holidays have gotten in the way, it has not made it easy in trying to schedule a date. I gave him my phone number so the ball is in his court! Stay tuned for new material! 

Happy New Year, Everyone!!!! 

Meh.

Hi, again.

So, really no movement anywhere. Dude who I was supposed to go out with last week never rescheduled, but we're still keeping in touch. However, it's starting to lose its luster. He asked about Thursday, but no concrete plans have been set, and given that tomorrow is Thursday, I don't foresee anything happening. Meh. 

Last night I grabbed drinks (I had water) with "Tom." It was interesting. I had not my best of days earlier that day so I was in a really down mood; more depressed/sad than being angry or w/e. Anyways, he still wanted to get together to "talk" and so we did. He apologized for dropping off the face of the earth and said that he got scared. He said that his thoughts got ahead of him rather than enjoying the time we were spending together at that moment. I appreciated that he wanted to meet up with me and have this conversation face to face. He asked if we could still hang out cause he did enjoy the time we spent together; I was and still am unsure. I'm just not in a place in my life anymore where I really want to see anyone nor just hang out with someone. I appreciate that he's trying to be nice and friendly, but frankly I don't really want another guy friend nor hanging out with one that I've already sort of dated; I feel like there will be some awkward tension and I rather not see him attempt to hit on other girls nor talk about other girls. However, the night was awkward but still relaxing and did lighten my mood. I'm not sure what's going to happen with "Tom," but for now, at least I got an answer. 

Good News Bad News

Hi. 

The good news is I have an outfit to wear for my date tonight. 

The bad news is that I don't have a date tonight. 

Homeboy had to cancel.

He had mentioned to me Tuesday that he was flying to NY on Wednesday for work. 

I asked if he would be back in time and he said yes. 

Things changed, shit shows happened, and he's not coming back till Friday. 

Boo.

However, we did plan to reschedule for next week. 

I'll keep you posted. 

Tomorrow Night Is The Night

Yep, that's right; tomorrow is Date Night. 

I'm excited and apprehensive at the same time.

I'm kind of like "Eh, here we gooooooo again. Wonder what is in store this time?" 

And I'm also like "I sure hope this is fun!!!! He seems like a really fun guy!" 

However, I did find some.... um.... incriminating evidence.... yesterday out there on the "internets". You could say I "gathered intelligence," or at least that's what I like to call it rather than saying "I stalked the shit out of this guy." It kind of made me lose confidence in meeting him; well not kind of, it definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. 

I'll keep ya posted as to how it goes!!!! 

December

I know, I know, I know. 

My posts have been far and few between in the past few months.

Mostly cause, well, there's very little to write about. 

So, here's an attempt at catching up. 

I do have a date coming up next week. He's one of the guys I have been talking to that I mentioned last week. I'm kind of excited, but I am not having high hopes since there is some distance between us. However, he seems like a fun guy (fungi! I wonder if he's a cremini) and outgoing. I'll give it a shot, but have my guard up about the whole thing. 

As for the other dude I was talking to, it went something like this:

He asked if I wanted to get drinks this past weekend. I said yes and that any day would work.

Well, prior to that, he asked me a question which might be my biggest pet peeve of online dating.

"So, have you gone out on a lot of dates with guys from this site?" 

Buddy, it is NONE of your business how many guys I've gone on dates with from online dating. I'm not going to tell you, "Oh yea, I go out on lots of dates. I've even started a blog about it! If you're lucky, you'll make it on there!" Well, he got lucky cause he's now on here, but not in a good way. 

So then I didn't hear from him after he asked about drinks. I decided to send him my number. This is the text convo we had:

"Hey sorry things been hectic. This is "Aaron" from [online dating site]. So I want be honest I kind of started talking to someone and want to see where it goes." 

Talking.... not seeing? You've been TALKING to this girl who has blown you away so much that you are blowing me off for drinks? Right. 

My reply: "Well, best of luck to you then"

HIS REPLY: "Thanks. if want talk maybe hang out as friends would still be cool talk."

Buddy, I am not on this site to make friends. I have enough guy friends. If I wanted to make new friends, I'd go join a kickball team or play golf or something that involves meeting new people NOT ONLINE. 

What is wrong with some folks? I appreciate the honesty, however, use some tact. Good googa mooga. 

Anyways, I got this message this past week. Thought it was a tad funny:

"By any chance did you happen to do the Run For Your Lives around Halloween this year? It was really fun! 5K ... with mud and obstacles ... and zombies."

I didn't know I gave off the "I think zombies are the shit" vibe. 

So, that's my life in a nutshell. "Help, I'm trapped in a nut shell!" 

I'm not sure if you noticed, but I kind of like puns. 

A Gem of an Email

I got this gem of an email. 

"Hey what's up? Your very sexy and i have a thing for women who wear heels like stillettos /strappy heels. Do you wear things like that? I really find you attractive and I'd like to know if u would want to chat more on yahoo or something? Do you have a yahoo name?"

Yea, there's a winner. 

End of November Updates

Hi there. 

So November has been an interesting month. 

Run down of the past week(-ish):

1. No, I never heard back from "Tom."

Most likely we'll run into each other one night and it will be awkward. 

Enough about him.

2. The result of my drunk online dating messaging with the Ginger. He did reply! With this:

"Hey [Me], I think you're pretty cool too and I definitely had fun at homecoming but I kinda started dating a girl a few weeks ago and don't wanna mess anything up with that. :/" 

I replied with this:

Hey "Ginger", 

So there was some liquid courage in that message I sent you last night, if it wasn't obvious. But I will admit, I've thought about messaging you for a while and apparently got enough in me to do it. I got a great laugh out of it today and hope you did too. Thanks for the reply back and good luck with the new chick! See ya around! (Either way, apparently. I have NO idea what I meant by that, nor half of that message.)

3. I've been messaging with two guys, but neither of them have "wowed" me. One I'm attracted to, but he doesn't live near by. The other I don't find as attractive, physically and quickly developing personality-wise, but he lives near by. I might give him a shot, but I'm not expecting much. 

Frankly, I'm very exhausted from all this dating and crap. 

I really have little to no interest to continue online dating, nor dating as a whole.

I'm fine being single and I'm having lots of fun doing my own thing, which is really the most important thing to focus on. 

If someone comes along and wants to be a part of the fun; terrific. But for now, I'm going to just do me. 

It's been an experience, but it's one that I think I've had enough of. 

My subscription ends December 29th to the one site I am currently on.

I deactivated the "free" site because... well, it was free and obviously so by the types of "men" on there. 

Drinking and Online Dating Don't Mix

Hello.

I did something dumb.

I went out drinking and then came home and decided to message the ginger who I met at homecoming.

Here's how it went:

Title: Yo

Message:

Alright "Ginger",

I thought you were pretty awesome when I met you. This whole homecoming/online dating thing is weird, and I honestly will admit homecoming was kinda hazy. Anyways, I thought you seemed like a cool dude n then you popped up as the single out match of the day. I thought I'd go ahead n message you. Anyways, here's an attempt at messaging you. I hate to beat around the bush so here's to cutting the chase. I think you're awesome and I'll leave it at that. If the feeling isn't mutual, alrighty, I understand. Have a great thanksgiving and see ya around either way! Ttyl!

"Me"

Soooooo, he hasn't messaged back. 

I'm still single.

Yea. 

That happened. 

Hand to face. 

WHOAH; pretty much sums it up.

I have an update. 

Yesterday, while sitting at the doctor's office, I was playing around on my phone when all of a sudden it vibrates.
I thought "That's weird. Did someone just try and call me?"

I checked back to my call log and BAM. 

Yes sir, someone sure did. 

"Tom" did. 

I KNOW. I'm as shocked as you are! 

I was quite confused and literally in SHOCK. 

I have no idea if they even called my name to go back to the exam room. 

I was literally sitting there going "WTF?!"

Anyways, he even left a VOICE MAIL. 

I KNOW! 

So I listened to it. It went like this: 

"Hey, [me]. It's "Tom" calling it's about 10 to 4:00pm on Thursday, I wanted to call you n get a hold of you and  see what you are up to and how you've been. I was hoping that we could kinda get together sometime maybe next week, grab a bite to eat or something. Sorry, I've been kinda distant so I just wanted to talk to you about it. When you get a chance, give me a call back or whatever is easiest for you. Alright, talk to you later."

I was stunned. I didn't know what to think and I don't know what to think, still. 

Here'e my problem; guys seem to always do this to me. 

They disappear and then POOF, they come crawling back for more. 

I'm not sure what it is. I've been told I do this sexy lip thing. Maybe its my curvaceous bod. Maybe its my wit and charm. Maybe because I'm just down right awesome. Yea, I'm thinking what you're thinking; it's all of that. (Insert Sarcasm)

Anyways, after confiding in my closest male cohorts, as well as one married chick and one single chick, I decided to do this; call him back. Why? Simply because of curiosity. 

I want to hear what he has to say. I had already moved on from him and accepted the fact that he's just not that into me. I grieved, I wept some, and I ate junk food. All over a guy I saw for a few weeks. Yea, imagine what happens when I go through a break up; not pretty. (Are any break ups ever?) 

So, I finally got around to calling him back. I was prepared to listen and then speak my little mind that this behavior has been crap and I am not a happy camper about it. 

I got his voice mail.

I left a short message saying that it was me, what time, just returning his call, and to give me a call back whenever. Simple and short. Boom. 

About 30 min later, I was standing in the kitchen mixing lemonade and Fire Fly (hey, it was Thursday evening, don't judge) and had the UNC-VT game on. I thought to myself "Hmm, if he calls, would I be able to hear my phone over the tv?" The answer was no, or at least not in time. 

By the time I realized my phone was ringing, I had Fire Fly in hand which I finished pouring (priorities) and then darted across the living room to turn down the TV, which I FOR WHATEVER REASON couldn't turn it down because remotes are my kryptonite. By the time I grabbed my phone, I had missed the call. 

So, I immediately called right back. 

OF COURSE, he doesn't answer. 

Side note: why does this always happen? I think this is one of my top 5 pet peeves, when you call someone, miss it, call right back, and they don't answer. UM, WHY? 

Moving on..... He didn't leave another voice mail and neither did I. About 10 minutes later I decided to just send a quick text, because I was flustered and confused. No response back. 

I'm not surprised because he wakes up at 4:45am every morning and as a result goes to bed around 8ish. 

So for now, I'll wait and see what happens next. 

I'm curious as to what the outcome will be and if he'll get back in touch. 

And also, what he has to say for himself.

Another funny note; one of the sites does "Picks of the day" and I had two VERY INTERESTING picks. 

First up, the ginger. So, during homecoming weekend, I met this Ginger (redhead, for all of you who don't know the term) through friends and we made out a lot that night and ended up falling asleep on the hotel floor together. Next morning was awkward, to say in the least, but we're Facebook friends, so if he really wanted to get in touch with me again, he knows how. Anyways, a few weeks ago, I noticed he viewed my profile on the online dating website. When I logged in last night, BOOM, there he was. MY PICK OF THE DAY. This site really thinks we'd hit it off. Little does it know that we already did. 

Anyways, now he can see that I viewed him, again. Awkward. 

Second, one of my close guy friends was also a pick, yesterday. I sent him a text letting him know that he was one of my picks of the day. He texted back saying that I should click yes. I said I had already clicked no, but thought about clicking yes. In return, I "winked" at him instead. This is all out of fun. 

I'm not interested in him and I think the feeling is mutual. 

We're good friends and that's where it will stay. 

So, yesterday was eventful in terms of dudes. Almost tidal-wave-esque, you could say. 

The weekend came and went... just like "Tom"

Hello folks!

So, I guess to give you the final update on "Tom," is that there isn't much to update since last week. 

I ended up texting him Thursday afternoon and it went like this:

Me: "Hey hows your week going? How'd your weekend turn out in PA? Didn't realize you were going out of town again."

"Tom": "Its good. I'm working saturday 6-4pm for overtime work, kinda sucks. PA was fun I hadn't seen my buddy in forever so it was good to see him. How have you been?"

Me: "That sucks ass you have to work Saturday. This week has been busy at work n prepping for stuff next week so its not too crazy. Other than that, can't complain! 

That was Thursday evening. 

I haven't heard from him since.

Nor do I CARE to hear from him.

I'm very disappointed. 

Not sure where things went south, but they did.

I get it, you're just not that into me. 

Next. 

A week later...

Alrighty, folks. 

I've left you hanging for a week now. 

Here's the situation:

"Tom" and I hung out last Wednesday evening  and things went alright. So I thought, at least. 

Before he had left, we chatted briefly about when we were going to hang out again next. 

It went like this:

"Tom": "What works for you this weekend?"

Me: "Saturday is good."

"Tom": "Ok, Saturday it is." 

Well, then Thursday passed by, no word from him. That's ok. 

Friday passed by, no word from him. Eh, ok. 

Friday night, after a few drinks with friends and hanging out at a local bar, I sent him a text since I was thinking about him: "Hey What are you up to?" No response. 

Saturday: nothing all day. 

Finally, I bit the bullet and sent him a text:

Me: "Hey did you still want to do something tonight?"

"Tom": "Hey I'm in Pennsylvania tonight."

Me: "Oh ok have fun"

I have not heard from him since. 

Not quite sure what happened. 

We've seen each other once a week now for the past 4 weeks.

Been in communication. 

Up until now.

I was quite startled that he was out of town. 

He didn't mention anything about going out of town anytime soon.

He had been out of town the weekend before. 

I was surprised, and still am. 

It's been about 5 days now since I have heard from him.

I don't think I'll hear anything else from him unless I say something first. 

I'm disappointed, mostly because, I thought things were alright and we were on the same page.

Apparently not. 

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do now.

I've gone back and forth as to whether I might shoot a text his way to see if he still exists. 

However, nothing has been done nor said yet. 

Maybe that's for the best? 

Not really all that much of a happy camper.

The Toilet Situation

So, last time I left you, I was very unsure as to what was going on with my life and quite done with this whole dating thing.

Eh, well I still kind of am, but not. Not everything has gone down the crapper (ba-dum-shhh). Over the past week, there has been more talk between "Tom" and I and it seems to have picked up, again. One thing I think I'm having a hard time dealing with is that things between us are going kind of "slow" for my liking and I've had a really hard time trying to figure out what the hell is going on. But... it has been good for me to be taking things at a slower pace; something that I haven't really experienced with previous relationships.

"Tom" and I have kept in touch over the past week and tried to get together this past weekend but that fell through. Really fell. Fell right down into the crapper. Literally.

"Tom" was out of town this weekend but asked me Sunday about hanging out later that night. I said sure, come on over, and was expecting him almost any minute. Well, a minute turned into several minutes, which turned into a half hour, which turned into an hour, and then hours. That's right; he never showed up. I. was. pissed. Livid, really. 

Back up a few days, I had been wondering just how into me he really is and have had a lot of trouble being convinced that someone actually is attracted to me. This is an insecurity that I've been trying to work on and trying to muster up some sense that someone out there in this ocean, there is another fish that digs this fish, baggage and all.

Anyways, I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. I was really confused, oh yea, and pissed off. Did he decide he didn't want to come over? Did he fall asleep? Did his roommates drag him into something? What the heck is going on? I kinda freaked.

I texted him an hour later asking if everything was alright. Nada.

Next day; generally if I text him late, he'll respond the next morning. However, I didn't get anything. I was even more pissed. I have had this happen to me so many times and have been jerked around so much that frankly, I'm over it. I'm tired of dating, tired of playing games, tired of it all. I was vowing to take a long hiatus from the dating world if I never heard from him again.

So, of course I discussed and digested the situation with my close cohorts. Do I text him again? Do I call him? Do I wait? What do I do? And here is what I decided: to do nothing. That's right, I waited. I decided that if he wanted to come around and explain himself, he can and I will let him know that this behavior will not be tolerated. Otherwise, it's not worth my time and energy to go fishing after him for a half ass explanation.

And that is exactly what happened folks. Later that afternoon, he came around and I got a text from him. And it read:

"Hey!! I dropped my phone in the toliet last night.... I don't have your number [written down, I assume] either and I forgot which apt u are!! Sorry. Just got it fixed..."

Ok, I wasn't sure what to believe. I was like.... really? He dropped it in the toilet? Should I really believe this? This is absurd. What kind of excuse is this?

Then I thought about it. I've dropped my phone in the toilet, and more times than I'd like to admit. I decided it must be somewhat true, and knowing him as much that I do, this was entirely possible and I knew he was unsure as to which apartment I live in.  But I wasn't sure how to respond. So I came up with this:

"Hahahahahahahhahah oh lordy"

I mean, what else was I supposed to say? I could have been a huge bitch and been like "Really? Then prove it." but I didn't want to be like that. I kept my cool.

So, then we texted throughout the evening and the convo went well. I then found the confidence in me to believe that perhaps he really did drop it in the toilet. However, after that evening, I didn't hear from him. Back to being confused.

Wednesday afternoon, I decided I'd shoot him a text. He has been looking for a new car so I was curious if he was successful in finding one. He responded back with that he had found one, but he would text me more after work. And he did. We went back and forth and finally I enticed him to come hang out with watching regular tv and some wine. I think it was more the wine than the tv that got him.

He came over and it was awkward. I opened the door and he walked in. What was I supposed to do? Hug him? Kiss him? Tackle him? Do nothing? So, nothing I did. I had already poured myself some wine so when he got there I poured himself a glass, too.

Then we sat on either side of the couch. Yes, I'm in middle school. I wasn't sure what to do because I was so nervous that he was actually here, living and breathing, in my living room, on my couch. It was awkward at first but I tried to make chit-chat to sound like I was interested in him. After a while, we got more comfortable around one another and things clicked. By the end of the evening we were cuddled up on my couch and watching one of my favorite shows. Overall, it turned into a successful evening.

Lesson learned: to trust more. I think I need to trust in others more, as well as myself. With time, I think this will get better and I'll learn that not everyone is an asshole. Time does amazing things for tricky situations and especially so when it comes to dating and relationships.

Nada

So, I've got nada for you. There was no 4th date with "Tom" this week due to some unforeseen circumstances. We've been in touch, but no idea as to when we'll see each other next. 

I've dabbled a bit on one of the sites in the past week, but frankly, I'm tired of this online dating crap. I can now say I've tried it, and it was ok. I met a few good guys, but I also met a lot of assholes. However, overall, I don't think it's quite for me. It really has come down to the "types" of men on the site. Yea, there are a few, rare decent ones, however, a lot of them are...... well, not. "Tom" really is a lot of what I look for in a guy, and a lot of me hopes things continue to go well. He has been a breath of fresh air but who knows how long that air will stay fresh. Thank goodness for Febreeze, right?

Anyways, a girl's favorite holiday has now approached. 

Get out there, lassies, in your costume that is some random thing with a side of slut. 

It's the one day a year you can get away with it. 

I, however, will be going as a blue lego. 

Yes, I will be wearing a box. 

No, not so sexy, but I dig. 

Happy Friday, and more importantly, Happy Halloween!