Care for a spot of tea?

Got this message yesterday:

Message: "Hi, let's meet for some tea." 

That was it. 

Bad News

Bad news, folks. My date canceled on me.

But!!!!!!! He did suggest another day. So, hopefully we'll meet sometime soon! 

I'll keep you posted. 

Date Night!!

^ This is me right now. 

It is date night, tonight. I am pretty pumped and excited to see what is in store for this evening. 

Wooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Date Alert!

Alrighty, I have a date for Tuesday evening. And I'm pretty excited. Really excited. EXCITED. :D

Well, no dates tonight nor this weekend. 

Overall, not a whole lot going on but I am talking to a new dude, so we'll see where that goes. 

Until then..... glub glub glub...

Have a swim-erific weekend!! 

Swim-erific? Just go with it. 

Lady friend

Apparently I appeal to the ladies as well. Received this odd message yesterday evening:

Subject: Hi!
Message:
Hi! I hope that you're not offended, but I looked at your profile and thought you looked gorgeous! 

How is (dating site) working out for you? I thought (dating site) might be an interesting channel to reach out to other girls who are interested in making new friends.... 

Hope to hear back ;) (name) x


I'm flattered, but no thank you.

"Jason"

So I had a date Friday night with "Jason."

Jason is 29 and seemed like a really laid back guy. We have a lot in common in that we both had similar majors in undergrad and he also played hockey growing up. Well, I didn't play hockey growing up but I did figure skate, so the fact that I found SOMEONE who can ice skate is amazing in of itself. Not many lads are willing to take to the ice; wimps. Skating is something we first spoke about via our messages and connected with from the get go. He was also from New England where part of my family lives and I really liked that about him as well, since we could share that childhood memory of summers spent up north, and for him... well his whole life. Same thing, right? Yea.

After messaging back and forth a bit, we finally decided to get together and hit the ice, literally. I had just gotten my skates sharpened and needed to dull them down, so we decided to meet up for dinner and some skating afterwards. I kept going back and forth with this guy; we had a bit in common and I was really excited to meet someone who was willing to skate with me and do something out of the ordinary and not the usual just dinner or drinks. As the weekend closed in and the date got nearer and nearer, I became more and more nervous about the date and had forgotten about all those butterflies that are set loose inside your stomach.

Before the big day, I looked over his profile once more and a few things stood out to me which hadn't before; apparently he was 5'7", I'm 5'3.5", 5'4" on a good day. It hadn't occurred to me that he was a shorter guy, but I tried to not let this bother me. Also, it said he was a "smoker, but trying to quit."

How did I miss THAT one?! I am not a fan of smoking; no sirree. Have I tried to inhale a cigarette before? Yes. Did I continue with that? No. I get that maybe in college the whole "I'll have one if I'm drunk," bit, but upon entering the real world, I realized how disgusting it is. However, I was like, "Well, it says he's trying to quit; maybe he only smokes when drinking or like... one a day?"

I was too hopeful.

We met up at the near by mall at a restaurant I had only been once before and it was delic! First of all, they had one of my favorite beers on tap, and not only that, it was on happy hour special too! SCORE! Then, I ordered a bison burger for dinner and it may have been one of the best burgers ever!! SCORE! Overall, I was very satisfied with my hunger and drinking needs.

Oh right, my date. We met outside the restaurant and he was wearing a navy, college hoodie, jeans, and white sneakers. I thought this was odd; I get that we were going to go skating, but at least put on a polo for dinner. I had left all my stuff in my car but had taken the time to dress up for the date at least (sweater, jeans, and heels, in case anyone cares). Anyways, we proceed into the restaurant and are seated immediately. Dinner conversation was pretty good; I was pleasantly surprised by how well we conversed! It was much better than half of the dates I've been on, I can say that much. I liked how ambitious he was and driven, as well as and that he was interested in a bunch of different activities. He was really easy to talk to and I felt much more myself around him than I have with other dates. We talked so much that we ended up missing the ice skating session and decided to go down the street to grab some more drinks.

Thaaaat's when things went a bit south. While walking to the next place, he asked me if I minded if he smoked a cigarette as we walked down the street. I did mind, but said it was ok; we were outside so I figured it was better there than inside somewhere or something of the like. We got to our next destination and ordered some beers and continued to chat. Our conversations were going great but he was starting to remind me of one of my exes; no bueno. Then he asked me if I would want to go outside with him real quick while he smoked another cigarette.

Good googa mooga; another cigarette? I was like "No, I'll just sit inside; I don't mind." He went outside real quick and I just sat there thinking.... this is a problem. He came back inside and mentioned that he's trying to quit. My smart mouth got the best of me and I said "And how's that going for you?" If he is rude enough to smoke two cigarettes on our date, then I think I can be rude enough to ask how his quitting is going for him, cause clearly it's not going THAT well. We continued talking for another forty-five minutes or so and then decided to call it quits (the night, not the smoking, clearly).

As we were walking back to my car, he decided to light up, AGAIN, for the third time. At this point, I was thankful that the date was ending but a bit disappointed as well. I really did enjoy spending time with this guy  and if it weren't for the smoking, I'd definitely would want to see him again. Once we got back to my car, I said thank you and that I had a fun, great time, which I did minus the smoking. We said we'd keep in touch and parted ways.

I haven't heard from him since I last saw him Friday night. Maybe he's been busy smoking all those cigarettes. Ew.

Lesson learned: Speak your mind if you do mind. Smoking is a deal breaker, for me, and I shouldn't have said that I didn't mind the first time he lit up that cigarette.

Neeeext.

Um....No.

Received another odd message yesterday evening.

It reads...

Subject: Int

Message: Suggar daddy?




That was it. Nothing else.

No, 42 year old man (yes, 42), I don't want a suggar daddy nor a sugar daddy. However, if we are talking about the candy, I'll have one. But no, I won't be having one of you nor your sugar babies either (also a delicious candy).

WTF?!

I know, I owe you all a post about my date from Friday night. But in the mean time.....

Got this message this evening:

Subject: Looks like there's some pain behind those eyes.

Message: Looks like there's some pain behind those eyes.


Um.... am I supposed to respond to this? How does one even respond to this?! What the (bleep) is this?!

Date Night

Alrighty, the streak has ended. I have a date tonight. And it's kind of a big date. 

So hopefully I'll have all the gooey details come... well, tomorrow. 

Until then, hold tight and wish me luck. 

Message from a "Kevin 2" aka "Johnny Drama"

So, I received this message from a 35 year old guy who already gave himself an alias of "Johnny Drama." Yes, referring to the guy from Entourage, aka the Sex and the City show for men.

"Lawyer Looking for His Partner in Crime and more"

"Hi,

"Ready for an ark yet?! It's bad enough the summer is over; Mother Nature is really reminding us. So, I was going through profiles, and was stopped in my tracks when I found you. Your pics are great; you are very photogenic; so very lucky! And your profile, while brief, is very intriguing . . .

"First, let me say- I love your honesty and attitude -- it is very refreshing and we should strive to have honesty, optimism and and positivity in our life. Life is too short for worry, regret and fretting.

"So, about me, what to say beyond my profile. As it states, I am originally from NYC, live and work in DC. I am of Greek/ Mediterranean background. I went to Penn.
While I am a lawyer I try to remain involved in a number of creative ventures, and just represented a nonprofit in a pro bono case. My other ventures including some photography and some start up tech.

"I think that we have a freakish amount in common -- as I also am very much into spending quality time with friends. I say - perhaps you agree -- you can be in the worst place on earth, but as long as you with your friends, it will be ok.

"If we met up, I would love to show you some of the new bistros, wine bars and boutiques around my part of town, near U Street, 14th. Would love to share an afternoon with you and learn more about you counsel.

"Is it possible for me to lure you out?

"Hope to hear from you"
"Johnny Drama" (aka "Kevin 2")

Sigh. Where to start..... As far as I know, lawyers don't commit the crimes (generally) and are trying to become partner, not look for one to commit offenses with. No, I am not ready for an ark, but maybe a cruise ship... but just not with you. I hate NYC/NY as whole (sorry, but I'm not sorry, and go Skins!). The only thing we have in common is that we both like me. And I will not, repeat... NOT be going over to YOUR part of town if we were to EVER meet up as a FIRST date. My name is not counsel, bitch, nor is it Carrie Bradshaw. Last I checked, I don't burrow down a hole in the ground which I need to be lured out of; as far as I know I'm not ground hog, mole, or chipmunk.

I really wish I could display the profiles that are associated with these messages because it really does add to the overall essence of how ridiculous these guys are and can be. I will tell you that the actor in the above photo I find more attractive than "Kevin 2" himself.

"Aaron" strikes again.

So I needed more writing material and in an act of desperation, I messaged "Aaron" back. Yes, the guy who started off talking about how he was a fugitive midget. Here it is folks:

My response:
Hey "Aaron",

So, at first, I honestly wasn't sure what to make of your message, haha. I was a bit confused at first but then eventually realized you are joking, or at least I hope you are.

I apologize for the delay response; life has gotten in the way between work, moving and settling into the new place.

Anyways, where about do you like to go out on the weekends? What have you enjoyed most about DC? What type of degree did you just finish up?

As for the ice skating, I meant being about to at least just get out there and not be glued to the wall. I used to figure skate back in the day and still try to get out on the ice whenever I seem to get a chance. Good for you for being able to be on your feet!

Hope you have been well and ttyl!
(Me)


His response:
(Me),
Nope, not a midget. Sorry, to begin by disappointing and misleading you, I think that’s supposed to come far later in a relationship than the initial introduction, ha. But hey, I had to at least fake some excitement to draw you in. Although, my midget story is remarkable, the boring truth is that I work in the House of Representatives doing energy and natural resources policy, I’m 6”3”, and have never even been arrested let alone to jail. Boring and standard issue, I know.

I just finished up a Masters in Public Policy. I went b/c it seemed like the logical next step following an undergrad degree in political science—short of going to law school that is. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do while working full-time, but manageable. However, it was more tolerable because the National Guard paid for it, which is always nice. I was in Army ROTC in undergrad, briefly served in the Army after college, and now I dabble in the Virginia National Guard one weekend a month.

Where’d you move to? I like H St, Georgetown, and Capital Hill best, but am pretty much open to anywhere on the weekends. What abt you?

Ok, I'd love to type more but I'm on my way out to my job as a bouncer over at the strip club. After that, I need to stop and pay off my bookie for my gambling losses from the past week. Once finished there, I'll be heading over to Anacostia to score my daily fix, but I'm sure you know how that goes. Actually, right now, I’m on vacation in (beach) and its abt time to hit the beach.

"Aaron"

I think that's enough from this guy.

Hiatus ended... by "Matt 2"

Arlighty, back to work. The long weekend was extremely relaxing and fun after a less than desired summer.

Got another gem of an email. I just found it creepy, mostly because I can see his picture and you can't and no, I won't share. But to give you an idea, he is a 35 year old white male seeking women between the ages of 18-50. Yikes.

"Im not that good at writing emails to strangers but bear with me.I read your profile and there was something about it that caught my eye.I have a feeling that there is more to you than your looks but lets see if your as nice,interesting,and attractive as you are in the pictures.Im willing to bet that you've gotten about 700 emails so far from dirty old married men wanting to be your sugar daddy.If thats what your used to then this email is refreshing.Im not one to talk about myself to much but im 35,tall,attractive,have my act together and im really funny.So if you dont like to laugh then were in trouble.Worst case?you might make a cool friend.So lets get together for a drink/coffee sometime..... 'Matt 2'" 


Pass.

Falling in.... lust?

I know, this picture might be a bit premature and even though it's not quite fall yet, it is September and that's what is on everyone's mind. The consensus seems to be that people are very excited for some cooler days, but not really ready for all that cold weather. Yea, I hear ya on that. I'm not quite ready for 3 feet of snow. But, I am ready to cool this place off. Humidity, be gone.

 This summer has been an interesting one with all the dates that were had and guys that came my way. I learned a lot this summer, so for that, I'm grateful I went out of my comfort zone and dived on into the online dating scene. It taught me to calm the hell down. It taught me to not settle for scum. It taught me that there are a lot of jerks out there. However, it also taught me that there are some great guys out there and that they do exist. They may be far and few between, but when they do come your way, they are definitely worth it. 

I'm excited to see what fall has in store. I'm hoping this lull fixes itself and my inbox is flooded with new material to share with you all after the long weekend. I wish I could tell you I am going to have some wild and crazy weekend, but I am spending it out of state with a bunch of couples. There is nothing like being the 15th wheel. I am excited though and I know this weekend will be a blast no matter what relationship status folks are in; they are my friends and I love them.