Craft Beer

Alright, so here's a better story.

One evening I am sitting on my couch, minding my own business, and I get a ring from the parents. Or maybe I called them, I can't remember. Anyways, my mother answers and she asks me what is new and such, and just small chit chat. However, I could tell there was something on her mind. And then... she spoke....

Mom: "Sooooo Mrs. "Marvel" came over to the house this past weekennnnd, and we were chattinnnng, and she asked if you were seeing anyone! I said 'She sees friends but I don't think she's seeing anyone!"

I said, ".............ok."

Mom: "Soooo she said that "Paul" has a friend who is looking to date! ("Paul" being Mrs. "Marvel's" son who is my age). She said that he's tried those online dating sites but nothing has worked out!"

Me: ".....................ok."

Mom: "Anyways, he's really into craft beer!................ So........"

Me:"............. I like beer."

Mom: "GREAT! I'll tell her you're interested!!!!!!!!!!"

Me:".................................."

Now, I wasn't sure what to think of this whole thing. Although a guy who likes craft beer is just utterly alluring, I wasn't sure how I felt about my mother being so involved.

Me;" Does this guy even have a name?"

Mom:"Oh I don't know, I don't remember. Umm..... uhhhh.... OH! It's uh, 'Peter,' that's it, it's 'Peter.'"

Me: "Um, 'Peter' what? Does this kid have a last name?"

Mom: "Oh I have no idea; I can't remember."

Dad from the depths of the background: "'Murphy!'"

Mom:"That's right! 'Murphy!'"

I'm thinking, how on earth did my father remember this kid's last name? What the hell is going on here? Anyways, we wrap up the conversation and I tell myself don't think anything of it unless my mother gives me a ring back.

A week later, while at work I notice that I get a call from "Home" on my cell phone, but don't answer since I am at work, and if it is an emergency, they know my work number where I'd be happy to answer. So I didn't think anything of it and continued on with my day. Later that evening, "Home" calls me again. It wasn't a good time for me to answer, but I called them back. My mother answered.....

Mom:"Soooo I spoke with Mrs. "Marvel" ............ and uh...... she suggested dinner on Sunday!"

Me:"............. huh?"

Mom: "Dinner on Sunday! What do you think?! Of course "Paul" would be there with his girlfriend."

Me: "Wait.... .......... So it would be me, you and dad, Mr. and Mrs. "Marvel," "Paul" and his girlfriend, and then this guy?"

Mom: "Well, yea, I assume so!"

Me:"...............................................no."

Mom: "Awwww really? Are you sure?"

Me:" Yea................. no."

A few minutes later...

Mom: "Well how are you supposed to meet this guy?!"

Me:"Mom, fate will figure it out."

Mom:"Oh ok."

I don't think I could think of a more mortifying experience of going on a BLIND DATE with MY PARENTS and another set of PARENTS to meet a family friend's friend. I mean, what the hell, why not invite "Peter's" parent's while we're at it?!

Here's a list of reasons I am opposed to this:
1. When I show up at the house, I guarantee my mother would say something along the lines of "You decided to wear that?"
2. Everyone will know why we are there; to set me up with my "future husband." (I'm positive that's how my mother sees it).
3. I won't be able to be myself around everyone.
4. Too much pressure to get to know this guy.
5. My mother would do all the talking and grill this guy to death about his family, where he's from, his education, his job, etc.
6. Too much of an opportunity to be utterly humiliated.
7. The most awkward goodbye ever.
8. My mother harassing me if I have heard from "Peter" and if we have a date planned and then how it went and such.
9. My mother being too involved in my love life for my own liking.
10. Me going insane.

I told a few folks about this situation and they were like "Do it for the blog!" And I responded with "Hell no." Although this blog could have used it, it was not worth it to me to go through all that, especially since I'm apathetic to dating at the moment.

However, I gave it more thought. And here's what I concluded: Mrs. "Marvel" and her family have been close to our family for over 20 years, and if she is willing to suggest a guy for me to my mother, this guy must be alright. I feel as if she wouldn't recommend just anyone of "Paul's" friends and mom's don't just suggest their son's friends to their friends with daughters (I think....).

After a few days, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to message "Paul" on Facebook since we are "friends" on this site. I gave him my number and I told him that his friend can call me if he's up to it since Sunday dinner wasn't exactly my speed. I was very nervous about doing this, but I thought, "Eh, what the hell? Why not? Worst case scenario, I don't ever get a call." And I'm ok with that.

So far, I haven't heard anything. But when I do, I'll be sure to let you all know.

Updates

Several people have asked me what happened to this blog in the past 2 months.

Fine, here's an update.

"Tom" and I still keep in touch. I figure if he wants to see me or talk to me, he has my number and knows how to get in touch. However, I have come to the realization (honestly, although I want to deny it sometimes) that its not going to go anywhere between us. We're in two different places in our lives and want different things. Friendly is going to be where it stays.

Other than that, there has been nothing. I haven't met anyone since giving up online dating, and this is how it works in the real world. I don't have dates every couple of days or every week, and although I do get out there and very frequently, meeting people on your own is a lot harder. So because of that, there are long, LONG, LONG, periods of time where I don't meet anyone. Sorry, just how the game goes. 

In addition, I just don't have the desire to put forth any effort towards someone. Call me jaded, but I've gotten tired of it all and really don't see the point of putting in effort towards a situation that won't go anywhere. I'm exhausted and really don't want to focus any of my time or attention to dating since it doesn't ever seem to end well. 

However, they always say it finds you when you stop looking.

Two different situations. I'll share one here and do another post later. 

I went out for my friend's birthday to a local bar and had myself a pretty good time. It wasn't too crowded so we were all able to mingle and get to know one another. A few drinks later, I found myself chatting it up with this guy at the end of the night. He seemed nice, but I wasn't really 100% drawn to him. As we were heading out, he asked for my number, and I obliged, after he asked me about five times. As we are exchanging numbers, I asked what his name is, and then I asked again, and again, and again. I could not for the life of me remember his name until I went to enter it into my phone. We said goodbye and parted ways. 

The next day, I was looking at my call-log and noticed a missed call from "Aaron" from the night before when we exchanged numbers. I was like "Huh? Oh yea, that guy. Ehhhhhhhh." He just became an afterthought and that was about it. 

The day after that, I was snoooozing away in an afternoon nap when my phone started ringing. It was "Aaron." I was completely shocked while also being half asleep. After I finished my nap, I called my girlfriend to get the 411 on this guy since we had only spoken briefly and I wasn't in a state to really remember anything substantial, not even his name for Pete's sake (if only he were named Pete). I met up with my girlfriend to debrief and found not much other than his age, he has a job, and that he's nice. 

Well I've got news for you; everyone is nice. A few hours later, I suppose his buddy told him I was asking about him, so he texted me. We exchanged a few, and then after I left my friend's place, I gave him a call. Annnnnnnd that's where things were a little different. After only speaking for about 5-10 minutes I realized that this was not the guy for me. Although I really appreciate that he called me first rather than texting, big points in my book (or blog), he sounded like one of the dumbest people ever. Our conversation was lack luster and there was nothing substantial to it. He was talking about the most random things, probably because he was nervous, but still, it was going nowhere. I held out for a little longer until I reached my apartment and said I was going to lose service. So, I said I'd call him back. 

I wish I hadn't. It was another 30 minutes of lack luster conversation that wasn't leading to anything. I finally said "Ok, I have to get going so I can get ready for my week and for bed" (it being a Sunday and all). He said "Ok, call me any time you want." We said "Bye" and that was the end of it. 

Call him any time I want? Buddy, I don't want to call you, I want to see where this goes and actually meet up in person. If you want to talk to girls on the phone, there's plenty of other numbers that provides that service. 

After not being impressed, I decided I didn't want to pursue this any further. He, of course, felt otherwise. The next day he texted me, then called me, and then texted me saying he was going to bed soon. However, I was busy having dinner with an old friend and catching up after too many months passing. The next day, he texted again, 3-4 separate times, and the final text saying to call him that night because he "needs to ask me something." I had enough, and replied back by saying sorry, but I am not interested. It was nice to meet him, and best of luck.

So far..... I haven't heard anything. Terrific. 

It did, however, remind me of the times that I put forth effort into someone and the feelings weren't being reciprocated. Instead of ignoring him and having him continue to contact me, I just decided to nip it right then and there and just tell him how I feel. I felt as if I was polite about it and he got an answer, and we can both move on. If only it could go like this every time.... but it doesn't. And that's when I get to blog about it. 

Stay tuned..... 

Update

I know, it's been a while.

I don't have much to report.

To sum up ladies' night: it was alright. I learned I don't have the game I once used to have. But, I think this is because I am not in a place right now where I want to meet anyone new. Since I'm not interested in meeting new guys, it shows when I "attempt" to talk to them.

"Tom" has sporadically been in touch. It is really not much of anything to post about other than he reaches out to me once in a while. Since he's been slammed with work, we haven't hung out and that's alright with me. Why? Because I'm glad that nothing went any further since he's been so swamped with work. I was in a relationship in which the ex-boyfriend  had 4-6 week periods of non-stop work and I was unable to see him (I know that sounds a little sketchy, but trust me, it is not, I just don't feel like explaining the nature of it). "Tom" is currently too busy to devote any type of effort towards seeing someone (or effort towards me) and I don't want to be a last priority; no one should be a last priority. Like I've said before, timing is everything.

If anything arises, I'll keep you posted!

Ladies' night

Oh yes.... it's ladies' night. 

This little fishy is going out with her school of fine fishy lady friends this evening. 

Perhaps we may run into a school of fine men fish. 

We shall "sea" what's out there in the big blue. 

Lulls

So, later, I realized that yesterday's post might of been.... weird. 

I'm not sure I fully grasp what unrequited love is, but it seemed relevant to what's been on my mind lately. 

However, now that I am no longer on any online dating site, I've had a lot of questions and been thinking "Now what? What do I do now?"

I've wanted to take some time for myself and accomplish some goals of mine.

However, I've still haven't shaken the feeling of wanting to meet new guys and see what else is out there.

One of the reason's I've stopped online dating is because I noticed how much time, energy, and effort I was putting into it and not in other areas of my life. It hit me that I need to put that same amount of time, energy, and effort into achieving those life long goals that I've had and that I'll meet people along the way.

This experience has been an interesting one. 

I've really enjoyed using this blog as an outlet  for describing the highs and lows of my dates and exploring who's out there. 

However, posts like these about thoughts and questions are an example of a lull; a reflecting period when there are no guys present in my life. The first 25 posts or so were the recap of 3 months of online dating.

 It didn't all happen at one time and thank god it didn't; that would be exhausting. 

I just happened to write it all in a matter of a week when really it took weeks.

I know my posts have been farther and fewer in between one another in the past few months, but that is the nature of dating. 

I don't go on dates every day, let alone every week. They just happen when they happen. 

I'm sorry if these past few posts aren't stories and bore you, but this is the speed of which dating takes in my life. 

Sometimes there are one or two, maybe three, guys who I am chatting with or have dates lined up. 

And then there are periods where there are NONE. 

My point is, not every post is going to be about some amazing or horrible date, and they aren't going to happen once or more times a week. 

They happen when they happen. 

So until then, hold tight. You know I'll write about it when it does happen. 

Unrequited

This is something that's been on my mind the past few days, so this post is really a stream of my thoughts, opinions, and questions that keep boggling my mind as of lately. I've seen it not only in my current situation, but also in that of others.

It's unrequited love.

I think almost everyone can relate to unrequited love to some degree.
There is always that yearning after someone who has you so blindsided that you may miss out on other, great individuals.

It's that "I like him/her but he/she doesn't like me back" situation.

I've analyzed and over analyzed this situation for days, weeks, months, possibly years on end as to how to get out of this funk.
I have no real answer, thought, nor opinion other than: time.

Time..... apart.

That's all I got for you.

Time away from said individual seems to be the only medicine that has worked best for me.
When I am in this type of situation, when I cannot for the life of me get over someone, it usually takes me some time to come to the realization when my feelings aren't being reciprocated and then it takes even more time to understand the "Why not?". And during all this time, I try to separate myself from them so I don't have any temptations or reasons to go back to the individual.
It is a sucky period of time and one I wish I could shorten.

This kind of connects back to an earlier blog post about wanting to know "why?" someone never returned your text, call, message, etc. and why things didn't work out. I understand that I'll never know why he never called back, or whatever it is he did or didn't do. However.....

I want to know why it's so difficult to get over some individuals than it is others. 
Why do we hang onto something that isn't there?
Why do we have such strong feelings for certain individuals who can't give us back what we need?
Why do we drive ourselves crazy over one person?

I try to convince myself that it's all in my mind and spin it with "I deserve someone who will treat me better. I deserve someone who will give me what I expect and demand out of a relationship. I don't deserve to be treated like this by someone.... anyone."

To an extent, I believe this is true. However, I still feel as if it only masks my feelings rather than resolving the issue at hand.
It excuses that I feel a certain way about someone that I can't seem to cut out.

You can't help how you feel, especially when something feels "different."
There is that un-explainable feeling you have as to why it feels right to you and no matter how hard you try, you can't explain that feeling to others. Or, is it just that it's nice to have someone to think about? Are we only kidding ourselves by doing this?

Overall, what I have found works best for me is recognizing that you, yes you, deserve someone who reciprocates those same feelings back and you shouldn't waste you time on someone who can't give you those feelings back. And the only way I've learned to heal those wounds from this "individual" who has caused you all this grief, is to distance yourself and give yourself the time to heal. Step back and focus on you and what you want rather than someone who can't give you what you want and need.

That's my two cents... or sand dollars, rather.

Too Small of a World

It is a small world after all and we're stuck on this Disney ride for life. Damn it. 

So, I used to play dodgeball with a social league in DC. I took a break, and now I'm back. 

It's kind of awesome, I'm not going to lie. 

However, there are LOTS of people who do dodgeball, or one of their other sports they offer (volleyball and kickball).  

After reffing a game, the team headed to the bar as per usual. While sitting around, another group walks in; I happen to turn around. 

BAM! THERE HE IS! 

THE FICKLE PICKLE STRIKES AGAIN! 

I slightly panicked. I was like, "OH CRAP. TERRIFIC. JUST WHO I'D LIKE TO SEE."

I was all jittery inside and freaking out...... and for no good reason.

Then it hit me; I shouldn't be the one freaking out; HE SHOULD.

 He's the one who never called me back! 

He's the one who bailed! 

Not I!

Why was I so freaked out?! 

Anyways, I guess I'll be seeing the Fickle Pickle every Sunday around 5pm at the bar. 

Yaaaaaaaaay. 

(Insert lots of sarcasm)