One Year

So I just realized this blog turned one year old last Wednesday! Happy Birthday? Um... ok.

In the past year (and 3 months, because I didn't actually start this blog till 3 months after I began the whole "let's try online dating," thing), I went on dates with 18 different guys. Some good, some bad, some really bad. Overall, it was a fun (and also at times not fun) adventure! At least I got some good stories out of it and I hope you enjoyed reading about my happenings as they happened.

Alright... Year Two? Yea.... I don't know about that.

And for the record, I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT continue to do online dating. I stopped in December 2011 and I have not, and will not, go back. Just wanted to make that clear.

Neglected and Catching Up.

Yes, I know. This blog has been quite neglected. I wish I had something exciting to write, but I don't. Well, kinda, but not really. It's been two months, and one would think "Two months, that's plenty of time for lots of awkward dates!" Not a whole lot, but I do have two to report.

The first was with Craft Beer guy, the family friend's friend that I mentioned back in May. We met up for drinks one weeknight and it went pretty well, but not well enough. Conversation did not lag one bit, but that's because he kept talking and talking and talking. I had a nice evening, but overall I didn't feel like there was much for us to go off of. The connection just wasn't there. He walked me back to my place and along the way I got the sense he wanted to hold hands, so I just crossed my arms instead. Eh. After we said goodbye, I never heard from him again. And that was ok. But I did hear about him again.

So as you might recall, originally my mother was involved. And I didn't want her to be. I never told her that I went on a date with this guy, and after it didn't amount to anything, I didn't see any reason to say anything. Wellllllll, my family friend "Paul" decided to mention it to his mother, "Mrs. Marvel," or it just so happened to come up in passing. Well, his mother told my mother, and eventually it came full circle.

My mother felt the opportune time to discuss this was at brunch for Father's day. As we were discussing a completely different topic, she all of a sudden asked "Have you talked to "Paul," lately? When was the last time you spoke with him?"

Gulp. "Um... no, not recently... we were just talking about [whatever it was we were talking about]. What does this have to do with that?"

Mom: "Oh nothing. I was just wondering. So, Mrs. Marvel said that you messaged "Paul"."  Right then, our food came. I have never been so happy to see food in my life. The conversation ended. Thank you, Big Man Upstairs.

A month later..... my parents and I are at dinner, and again, my mother switches gears and brings up a new topic. She starts to go on and on how "Mrs. Marvel" told her about my date and everything she had heard about it. My mother then asks, "So do you still talk to this young man?"

Me: "No."
Mom: "Why?"
Me: "He never called me back."
Mom: "Did you not show enough interest?" (How motherly of her)
Me: "No, I just don't think there was enough chemistry."

The convo fizzled from there. I informed my mother that I go on lots of dates, I just don't tell her about them since they never amount to anything, and same went for Craft Beer guy. No sense in talking someone up who isn't going to stick around.

The second was different and unexpected. I went to a 4th of July party on the 3rd of July, because that makes sense (well, it does, because we had the 4th off, being a national holiday and all, so it's expected to go out the night before a day off). Anyways, I met a guy there. And he was quite awesome. We were chatting it up and he asked if I wanted to go on a walk right then. I said "Yes," and as we started down the drive way, our friends stopped us. We got held up in the driveway and eventually went inside to watch my friend's sky diving video. Then we continued to chat and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk again. I said yes, and again we got held up, but this time in the kitchen. Eventually it got late, so I decided to head out. I was bummed that I didn't exchange numbers with this guy, and thought about it the whole ride home.

When I got home, I decided to take some initiative. I found this guy on Facebook via the event invite list, and decided to message him. It went like this:

Me: "Just let me know if you ever want to go on that walk sometime!"
Him: "Haha, I do enjoy a nice walk."
Me: "Well, if the next time you'd like some company, just give me a call! 555-555-5555."
Him: "Sweet deal. You'll have my number soon. ;) "
Me: "Awesome! Can't wait! :) "

So a day passed, and one Monday night, I got a call from a number I didn't know. I typically don't answer numbers I don't know. But I do look up the number in case it's some telemarketer or such. Nada. But, I then noticed I had a voicemail! HE CALLED! I was ecstatic. When guys actually call, it is major points in my book.

I eventually called him back after being talked down by my girlfriend and got most of the nervous jitters out. He answered, and we started chatting away. It felt so natural and I had never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. We made plans to hang out that Wednesday. After my golf lesson (yes, I attempt to play golf), I gave him a call to see if we were still on. And we were! He suggested coming to his apartment to make omelettes. Now, I said yes, but was very guarded. I did not like that he suggested his apartment for a first date. But I decided to go with it just to see what happens. I got there, and we scrambled, we sliced, we diced, we sauted. It was probably one of the best dates I had been on. We then watched tv as we ate our delicious omelettes. Afterwards, we went on that walk, finally. It got late, and eventually I had to head home. It was really one of the best dates I had been on and with someone I felt so comfortable and like myself around.

A few days passed, and I hadn't heard from him. He mentioned he was going out of town for the weekend, so I figured I wouldn't hear from him and I didn't want to initiate anything myself. Eventually the weekend came to an end, and Monday came and went. Tuesday afternoon, I decided I'd give him a call. So much for not initiating. But I decided I'd give him a call, say I had fun hanging out last week, and would like to hang out again. If he didn't want to, that's ok. There would be my answer. So I called, and said just that; I had a nice time, would like to hang out again, and if not, that's fine. I had left this in a voice mail, and not more than 10 minutes later, he called back! He said he had been planning on calling me to hang out again (skeptical). We made plans to hang out again after my golf lesson that Wednesday.

I gave him a ring, and we decided to go play basketball at a nearby park. It was a ton of fun! If there is one thing I like doing, it's something interactive. We played basketball, then we tossed a Frisbee around until the sprinklers came on unexpectedly, and then hit some tennis balls. It was a ton of fun, but I did feel like something was slightly off. I disregarded it and told myself to just go with the flow. We went back to his apartment again, ate dessert and watched one of my favorite shows 'Modern Family." It was starting to get late and I thought that overall it had gone pretty well.

Then out of the blue, he says "So, I have some bad things to say." (Who says that, honestly?) And that's when I went into shock. He proceeds to go on saying that although he's enjoyed hanging out, he's not looking for a relationship, and the feelings of not wanting a relationship are still greater than feelings towards me. He starts on about his past relationships and how they were bad, and what he didn't like about them, etc. I'm sitting there, taking this all in. Finally, I pipe up and give him my two cents.... or ... maybe more. I told him I appreciated his honesty, however I felt like he was jumping the gun. We hung out twice. TWICE. Did I mention twice? And with this, I felt like he didn't give me a fair shot. Also, if he already felt this way before this date, then he shouldn't have returned my call and we shouldn't be sitting there on his couch. Overall, he pretty much wanted the benefits of a relationship without being in a relationship, if you get my drift. I told him HELL-TO-THE-NO, and that I wasn't the girl he's looking for currently. I also told him how I once was in a relationship that going into it had a definite end, and it ended badly. We both went into it not wanting anything serious, and it got seriously ugly. So I passed along my words of wisdom to this guy that he can't go into a relationship that has a definite end and think it will come out all rainbows and butterflies. It won't.

We left it as being friends and that I would call him to hang out.

I have not called him and don't plan to.

Update:"Tom"

Learned today that "Tom" is moving into my apartment building sometime this summer.

Yea. 

Guest Post: "Gary"

Hello all! I have a guest post for you all from my buddy "Gary." Enjoy!



If you ever had any questions about the gay dating scene in DC, rest assured it’s no different from the straight scene.  I recently went on, what I have no hesitation describing as, the worst date imaginable.  This was not a date where I look back and reflect on how terrible an evening it was.  No, I knew halfway through this was a disaster and I still had the second half to suffer through.

This was the second date with a guy named Nate, who I met on an online dating site.  Our first date had been sub-par, but I know first dates can be difficult so I decided to give it another shot.  Because the first date had been in my neck of the woods, we decided to meet downtown near his place.

I arrived downtown and was lucky to find parking on the street very quickly.  I gave him a call and let him know I had parked.  He said he was right around the corner and on his way.  Five minutes later, no Nate.  Ten minutes later, he texts me and says he is running a little late.  15 minutes later, no Nate.  Finally, after I had been standing on the street corner for 20 minutes, Nate shows up.  He had a bizarre excuse for being late.  He told me he accidentally sent a text to the wrong friend and that friend then became upset and a 20 minute text/call argument ensued.  

After waiting 20 minutes for him, we were finally on our way to the restaurant.  As we were walking, Nate mentions that the restaurant we are going to only accepts cash.  No surprise, Nate doesn’t have cash on him.  Not wanting to pick up his tab, I suggested we go to an ATM. Because he didn’t want to pay an ATM fee, he decides to go to the local grocery store 2 blocks down and get cash back.  As we were walking to the grocery store, he points out his apartment, which was 1 block from where I had been standing the previous 20 minutes.

When we arrived at the restaurant, cash in hand, we quickly got seated and ordered.  Throughout the entire dinner, our conversation was constantly interrupted with him continuing his text argument with his friend.  Personally, I believe that when out on a date, the phone is off limits, unless it’s important, in which case you apologize to your date.  I received no such apology.

As the dinner continued, the phone did eventually make it to his pocket.  We attempted to carry a conversation but it was going nowhere.  Fed up with the rudeness, and terrible conversation (I think he even started talking about a Law and Order episode) I tried giving him the verbal queues that I was ready to leave.  My “It’s getting late”, “I should be getting back” and “I don’t have much more time on my parking meter” were too subtle for Nate to pick up on.  Finally after the waiter mentioned that customers were waiting for a seat, we left the restaurant.  

As we walked back to my car I didn’t think the evening could get any worse.  I turned the corner and spotted the worst possible person in DC.  The devil’s own public servant.  A meter maid.  Walking away from my car.  The 20 minutes of waiting on the corner, the grocery store cash back, the long and pointless conversation had taken up the two hours I paid for on the meter. This date was going to cost me more than the $20 I spent on Italian food.




And there you have it, folks! Let's hope to hear more from "Gary"!

Scum

So it's been a while.... but here's a short story.

This past Friday evening, I went out with some friends to a  fine "Chinese" establishment (sarcasm) in the Northern Virginia area for some beers. While we were out and about, this VERY tall guy was standing next to me at the bar trying to order some drinks. As he was waiting, we started chatting and flirting and he seemed like a fairly nice, fun guy. After a little while, he asked for my number and I was like "Sure," and why the hell not? Let's see what happens. Well, fail number one: when he went to pull his phone out of his pocket, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter also fell out. Ew ew ew; no smoking, please. After he (I) put my number in his phone, I was beginning to realize how drunk this guy was; his speech was slightly slurred, wasn't making much sense and couldn't operate his phone. I realized that this wasn't going much further.

We continued talking/flirting and he put his hand out to see how it compared in size to mine; his were HUGE and mine seemed like the size of a 3 year-old's. It was actually kind of a turn off how tall he was because I myself am just barely 5'4" and he was literally a skyscraper in comparison. Anyways, when we were comparing hands, that is also when I noticed he had on a WEDDING RING. I don't know what possessed him, but he took off his ring and put it on my left ring finger, and held my hand up in the air. I proceeded to take it off and said "So, you're married?" and he said "Yes." I then proceeded to ask "So where is your wife, then?" in which he responded "Oh she's coming later. She's 1-1/2 months pregnant."

EXCUSE ME? What the HELL are you doing out at a bar, hitting on girls, getting their numbers, taking off your wedding ring and then proceeding to put it on these other girls' fingers while your PREGNANT WIFE is off on her own somewhere and completely unaware of your behavior? I understand "nights off" and going out with your friends and doing your own thing away from your spouse; breaks can be good, but hitting on girls when you're married and acting like this? This is unacceptable and speaks volumes about your character, or lack there of.

The next thing I know, his friend, who is about 4 feet away, says "Hey can I get a picture of you two?" I firmly say "NO" and proceed to turn around so my face is away from the camera. Both guys still try to get me to take a photo and I continue to say "Hell no, I'm not taking a photo with you." I realize this was some game they were playing and I wasn't going to have any part of it. Then, this guy tries to apologize, in which I say "If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done this in the first place." If he knows what he did was wrong, then he shouldn't have done so to begin with knowing it's not appropriate behavior. I proceed to ignore him and get back to talking with my friends.

Unbelievable.

Guest Post!

Folks, I've got a treat for you this Friday. A guest post. I've asked this guest, "Matilda" to share her experiences thus far and to begin with a correspondence she had with a young lad. And here it is folks:

Matilda: 

So this guy on [online dating site] that I use messaged me asking the usual A/S/L questions.  We chatted for a bit, I noticed that he was a few years younger but he pointed that out in one of his emails and said ‘I know I’m a bit younger, but I think I am very mature so give me a chance.’  (Just to clarify I’m 25, he was 22).  So we kept chatting, he seemed real nice and from his photos was very attractive.  A few correspondences later he suggested that we exchange numbers so that we could communicate more effectively since neither of us were on match ever day.  I agreed and we exchanged numbers.  A few days later he texts me.  

The conversation went a little something like this:

Romeo: Hey

Matilda: Hi, who is this? … (I forgot to save his number)

Romeo:  It’s Romeo

Matilda: Oh hey!  How’s it going?

Romeo:  Do you know who this is?  Romeo from [online dating site]?

Matilda:  Yes.

Romeo:  Hey would you mind sending me another picture?

Matilda:  Um… sure, hold on.

Matilda: *picture sent*

Romeo:  Is this a joke?

Matilda:  What?

Matilda: Are you talking about the picture?

Romeo: Lose my number.

…and the end.

Needless to say I thought it was quite comical, especially since he was the one who initiated contact.  I guess the lesson learned is not to date anyone younger than you if you are a woman, or if they are an “’attractive’ 22 year old, fresh out of college, and although young, very ‘mature’ for his age.” 

So there you have it; the first guest post from "Matilda." And I assure you, there will be more to come (hopefully), not only from Matilda but others as well! 

Ehhh and guest posts?

So, I have nothing to report on my end. Although my family friend said he'd pass on my number, I have never heard from his friend. So no craft beer for me.

On another note, I have some friends and acquaintances that have been on some awesome dates and/or had some great, and humorous, experiences. SO! I'm hoping to get some guest posts up on here soon! And I must say, they are pretty hilarious, in my opinion, and gutsy too! Hold tight and I hope to report back soon! Or well, someone will!