Neglected and Catching Up.

Yes, I know. This blog has been quite neglected. I wish I had something exciting to write, but I don't. Well, kinda, but not really. It's been two months, and one would think "Two months, that's plenty of time for lots of awkward dates!" Not a whole lot, but I do have two to report.

The first was with Craft Beer guy, the family friend's friend that I mentioned back in May. We met up for drinks one weeknight and it went pretty well, but not well enough. Conversation did not lag one bit, but that's because he kept talking and talking and talking. I had a nice evening, but overall I didn't feel like there was much for us to go off of. The connection just wasn't there. He walked me back to my place and along the way I got the sense he wanted to hold hands, so I just crossed my arms instead. Eh. After we said goodbye, I never heard from him again. And that was ok. But I did hear about him again.

So as you might recall, originally my mother was involved. And I didn't want her to be. I never told her that I went on a date with this guy, and after it didn't amount to anything, I didn't see any reason to say anything. Wellllllll, my family friend "Paul" decided to mention it to his mother, "Mrs. Marvel," or it just so happened to come up in passing. Well, his mother told my mother, and eventually it came full circle.

My mother felt the opportune time to discuss this was at brunch for Father's day. As we were discussing a completely different topic, she all of a sudden asked "Have you talked to "Paul," lately? When was the last time you spoke with him?"

Gulp. "Um... no, not recently... we were just talking about [whatever it was we were talking about]. What does this have to do with that?"

Mom: "Oh nothing. I was just wondering. So, Mrs. Marvel said that you messaged "Paul"."  Right then, our food came. I have never been so happy to see food in my life. The conversation ended. Thank you, Big Man Upstairs.

A month later..... my parents and I are at dinner, and again, my mother switches gears and brings up a new topic. She starts to go on and on how "Mrs. Marvel" told her about my date and everything she had heard about it. My mother then asks, "So do you still talk to this young man?"

Me: "No."
Mom: "Why?"
Me: "He never called me back."
Mom: "Did you not show enough interest?" (How motherly of her)
Me: "No, I just don't think there was enough chemistry."

The convo fizzled from there. I informed my mother that I go on lots of dates, I just don't tell her about them since they never amount to anything, and same went for Craft Beer guy. No sense in talking someone up who isn't going to stick around.

The second was different and unexpected. I went to a 4th of July party on the 3rd of July, because that makes sense (well, it does, because we had the 4th off, being a national holiday and all, so it's expected to go out the night before a day off). Anyways, I met a guy there. And he was quite awesome. We were chatting it up and he asked if I wanted to go on a walk right then. I said "Yes," and as we started down the drive way, our friends stopped us. We got held up in the driveway and eventually went inside to watch my friend's sky diving video. Then we continued to chat and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk again. I said yes, and again we got held up, but this time in the kitchen. Eventually it got late, so I decided to head out. I was bummed that I didn't exchange numbers with this guy, and thought about it the whole ride home.

When I got home, I decided to take some initiative. I found this guy on Facebook via the event invite list, and decided to message him. It went like this:

Me: "Just let me know if you ever want to go on that walk sometime!"
Him: "Haha, I do enjoy a nice walk."
Me: "Well, if the next time you'd like some company, just give me a call! 555-555-5555."
Him: "Sweet deal. You'll have my number soon. ;) "
Me: "Awesome! Can't wait! :) "

So a day passed, and one Monday night, I got a call from a number I didn't know. I typically don't answer numbers I don't know. But I do look up the number in case it's some telemarketer or such. Nada. But, I then noticed I had a voicemail! HE CALLED! I was ecstatic. When guys actually call, it is major points in my book.

I eventually called him back after being talked down by my girlfriend and got most of the nervous jitters out. He answered, and we started chatting away. It felt so natural and I had never felt more comfortable talking to someone before. We made plans to hang out that Wednesday. After my golf lesson (yes, I attempt to play golf), I gave him a call to see if we were still on. And we were! He suggested coming to his apartment to make omelettes. Now, I said yes, but was very guarded. I did not like that he suggested his apartment for a first date. But I decided to go with it just to see what happens. I got there, and we scrambled, we sliced, we diced, we sauted. It was probably one of the best dates I had been on. We then watched tv as we ate our delicious omelettes. Afterwards, we went on that walk, finally. It got late, and eventually I had to head home. It was really one of the best dates I had been on and with someone I felt so comfortable and like myself around.

A few days passed, and I hadn't heard from him. He mentioned he was going out of town for the weekend, so I figured I wouldn't hear from him and I didn't want to initiate anything myself. Eventually the weekend came to an end, and Monday came and went. Tuesday afternoon, I decided I'd give him a call. So much for not initiating. But I decided I'd give him a call, say I had fun hanging out last week, and would like to hang out again. If he didn't want to, that's ok. There would be my answer. So I called, and said just that; I had a nice time, would like to hang out again, and if not, that's fine. I had left this in a voice mail, and not more than 10 minutes later, he called back! He said he had been planning on calling me to hang out again (skeptical). We made plans to hang out again after my golf lesson that Wednesday.

I gave him a ring, and we decided to go play basketball at a nearby park. It was a ton of fun! If there is one thing I like doing, it's something interactive. We played basketball, then we tossed a Frisbee around until the sprinklers came on unexpectedly, and then hit some tennis balls. It was a ton of fun, but I did feel like something was slightly off. I disregarded it and told myself to just go with the flow. We went back to his apartment again, ate dessert and watched one of my favorite shows 'Modern Family." It was starting to get late and I thought that overall it had gone pretty well.

Then out of the blue, he says "So, I have some bad things to say." (Who says that, honestly?) And that's when I went into shock. He proceeds to go on saying that although he's enjoyed hanging out, he's not looking for a relationship, and the feelings of not wanting a relationship are still greater than feelings towards me. He starts on about his past relationships and how they were bad, and what he didn't like about them, etc. I'm sitting there, taking this all in. Finally, I pipe up and give him my two cents.... or ... maybe more. I told him I appreciated his honesty, however I felt like he was jumping the gun. We hung out twice. TWICE. Did I mention twice? And with this, I felt like he didn't give me a fair shot. Also, if he already felt this way before this date, then he shouldn't have returned my call and we shouldn't be sitting there on his couch. Overall, he pretty much wanted the benefits of a relationship without being in a relationship, if you get my drift. I told him HELL-TO-THE-NO, and that I wasn't the girl he's looking for currently. I also told him how I once was in a relationship that going into it had a definite end, and it ended badly. We both went into it not wanting anything serious, and it got seriously ugly. So I passed along my words of wisdom to this guy that he can't go into a relationship that has a definite end and think it will come out all rainbows and butterflies. It won't.

We left it as being friends and that I would call him to hang out.

I have not called him and don't plan to.

Craft Beer, Again.

Hello, again.

So I have another update.

After a little over a week, "Paul," the family friend, finally messaged me back to inform me he will be giving my number to his friend. He had nice things to say about his friend "Peter," and said if I had any questions to not hesitate to ask. It was a really pleasant message and kind of brightened my day! So for now, I wait.

I got this message while sitting in the movie theaters waiting for "Titanic" to begin; yes, I saw it once more in theaters to relive my preteen days, and it was just as good. I was excited in that moment when sitting in my popcorn-crusted seat, but then after the movie had ended, I didn't feel that same excitement as before, to be honest. Usually, I get rather excited about such things and for prolong periods of time (days, weeks, maybe months). I kind of am excited, but only slightly. I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but I'm not jumping up and down to see what adventure might unfold. I don't feel that same energy as before when it comes to dating. I just feel kind of blah.

In other news, I have my eye on another lad that I have met within recent weeks/month-ish. However, I decided I'm not going to blog about this one. I have my reasons and if something does come about, perhaps I may blog about it, but until then, I see no reason to get further into details.

I apologize for this awkward, sour-puss of a blog post. I guess it is a reflection of my current "I have no idea what I want in life," state of mind.

Craft Beer

Alright, so here's a better story.

One evening I am sitting on my couch, minding my own business, and I get a ring from the parents. Or maybe I called them, I can't remember. Anyways, my mother answers and she asks me what is new and such, and just small chit chat. However, I could tell there was something on her mind. And then... she spoke....

Mom: "Sooooo Mrs. "Marvel" came over to the house this past weekennnnd, and we were chattinnnng, and she asked if you were seeing anyone! I said 'She sees friends but I don't think she's seeing anyone!"

I said, ".............ok."

Mom: "Soooo she said that "Paul" has a friend who is looking to date! ("Paul" being Mrs. "Marvel's" son who is my age). She said that he's tried those online dating sites but nothing has worked out!"

Me: ".....................ok."

Mom: "Anyways, he's really into craft beer!................ So........"

Me:"............. I like beer."

Mom: "GREAT! I'll tell her you're interested!!!!!!!!!!"

Me:".................................."

Now, I wasn't sure what to think of this whole thing. Although a guy who likes craft beer is just utterly alluring, I wasn't sure how I felt about my mother being so involved.

Me;" Does this guy even have a name?"

Mom:"Oh I don't know, I don't remember. Umm..... uhhhh.... OH! It's uh, 'Peter,' that's it, it's 'Peter.'"

Me: "Um, 'Peter' what? Does this kid have a last name?"

Mom: "Oh I have no idea; I can't remember."

Dad from the depths of the background: "'Murphy!'"

Mom:"That's right! 'Murphy!'"

I'm thinking, how on earth did my father remember this kid's last name? What the hell is going on here? Anyways, we wrap up the conversation and I tell myself don't think anything of it unless my mother gives me a ring back.

A week later, while at work I notice that I get a call from "Home" on my cell phone, but don't answer since I am at work, and if it is an emergency, they know my work number where I'd be happy to answer. So I didn't think anything of it and continued on with my day. Later that evening, "Home" calls me again. It wasn't a good time for me to answer, but I called them back. My mother answered.....

Mom:"Soooo I spoke with Mrs. "Marvel" ............ and uh...... she suggested dinner on Sunday!"

Me:"............. huh?"

Mom: "Dinner on Sunday! What do you think?! Of course "Paul" would be there with his girlfriend."

Me: "Wait.... .......... So it would be me, you and dad, Mr. and Mrs. "Marvel," "Paul" and his girlfriend, and then this guy?"

Mom: "Well, yea, I assume so!"

Me:"...............................................no."

Mom: "Awwww really? Are you sure?"

Me:" Yea................. no."

A few minutes later...

Mom: "Well how are you supposed to meet this guy?!"

Me:"Mom, fate will figure it out."

Mom:"Oh ok."

I don't think I could think of a more mortifying experience of going on a BLIND DATE with MY PARENTS and another set of PARENTS to meet a family friend's friend. I mean, what the hell, why not invite "Peter's" parent's while we're at it?!

Here's a list of reasons I am opposed to this:
1. When I show up at the house, I guarantee my mother would say something along the lines of "You decided to wear that?"
2. Everyone will know why we are there; to set me up with my "future husband." (I'm positive that's how my mother sees it).
3. I won't be able to be myself around everyone.
4. Too much pressure to get to know this guy.
5. My mother would do all the talking and grill this guy to death about his family, where he's from, his education, his job, etc.
6. Too much of an opportunity to be utterly humiliated.
7. The most awkward goodbye ever.
8. My mother harassing me if I have heard from "Peter" and if we have a date planned and then how it went and such.
9. My mother being too involved in my love life for my own liking.
10. Me going insane.

I told a few folks about this situation and they were like "Do it for the blog!" And I responded with "Hell no." Although this blog could have used it, it was not worth it to me to go through all that, especially since I'm apathetic to dating at the moment.

However, I gave it more thought. And here's what I concluded: Mrs. "Marvel" and her family have been close to our family for over 20 years, and if she is willing to suggest a guy for me to my mother, this guy must be alright. I feel as if she wouldn't recommend just anyone of "Paul's" friends and mom's don't just suggest their son's friends to their friends with daughters (I think....).

After a few days, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to message "Paul" on Facebook since we are "friends" on this site. I gave him my number and I told him that his friend can call me if he's up to it since Sunday dinner wasn't exactly my speed. I was very nervous about doing this, but I thought, "Eh, what the hell? Why not? Worst case scenario, I don't ever get a call." And I'm ok with that.

So far, I haven't heard anything. But when I do, I'll be sure to let you all know.

Updates

Several people have asked me what happened to this blog in the past 2 months.

Fine, here's an update.

"Tom" and I still keep in touch. I figure if he wants to see me or talk to me, he has my number and knows how to get in touch. However, I have come to the realization (honestly, although I want to deny it sometimes) that its not going to go anywhere between us. We're in two different places in our lives and want different things. Friendly is going to be where it stays.

Other than that, there has been nothing. I haven't met anyone since giving up online dating, and this is how it works in the real world. I don't have dates every couple of days or every week, and although I do get out there and very frequently, meeting people on your own is a lot harder. So because of that, there are long, LONG, LONG, periods of time where I don't meet anyone. Sorry, just how the game goes. 

In addition, I just don't have the desire to put forth any effort towards someone. Call me jaded, but I've gotten tired of it all and really don't see the point of putting in effort towards a situation that won't go anywhere. I'm exhausted and really don't want to focus any of my time or attention to dating since it doesn't ever seem to end well. 

However, they always say it finds you when you stop looking.

Two different situations. I'll share one here and do another post later. 

I went out for my friend's birthday to a local bar and had myself a pretty good time. It wasn't too crowded so we were all able to mingle and get to know one another. A few drinks later, I found myself chatting it up with this guy at the end of the night. He seemed nice, but I wasn't really 100% drawn to him. As we were heading out, he asked for my number, and I obliged, after he asked me about five times. As we are exchanging numbers, I asked what his name is, and then I asked again, and again, and again. I could not for the life of me remember his name until I went to enter it into my phone. We said goodbye and parted ways. 

The next day, I was looking at my call-log and noticed a missed call from "Aaron" from the night before when we exchanged numbers. I was like "Huh? Oh yea, that guy. Ehhhhhhhh." He just became an afterthought and that was about it. 

The day after that, I was snoooozing away in an afternoon nap when my phone started ringing. It was "Aaron." I was completely shocked while also being half asleep. After I finished my nap, I called my girlfriend to get the 411 on this guy since we had only spoken briefly and I wasn't in a state to really remember anything substantial, not even his name for Pete's sake (if only he were named Pete). I met up with my girlfriend to debrief and found not much other than his age, he has a job, and that he's nice. 

Well I've got news for you; everyone is nice. A few hours later, I suppose his buddy told him I was asking about him, so he texted me. We exchanged a few, and then after I left my friend's place, I gave him a call. Annnnnnnd that's where things were a little different. After only speaking for about 5-10 minutes I realized that this was not the guy for me. Although I really appreciate that he called me first rather than texting, big points in my book (or blog), he sounded like one of the dumbest people ever. Our conversation was lack luster and there was nothing substantial to it. He was talking about the most random things, probably because he was nervous, but still, it was going nowhere. I held out for a little longer until I reached my apartment and said I was going to lose service. So, I said I'd call him back. 

I wish I hadn't. It was another 30 minutes of lack luster conversation that wasn't leading to anything. I finally said "Ok, I have to get going so I can get ready for my week and for bed" (it being a Sunday and all). He said "Ok, call me any time you want." We said "Bye" and that was the end of it. 

Call him any time I want? Buddy, I don't want to call you, I want to see where this goes and actually meet up in person. If you want to talk to girls on the phone, there's plenty of other numbers that provides that service. 

After not being impressed, I decided I didn't want to pursue this any further. He, of course, felt otherwise. The next day he texted me, then called me, and then texted me saying he was going to bed soon. However, I was busy having dinner with an old friend and catching up after too many months passing. The next day, he texted again, 3-4 separate times, and the final text saying to call him that night because he "needs to ask me something." I had enough, and replied back by saying sorry, but I am not interested. It was nice to meet him, and best of luck.

So far..... I haven't heard anything. Terrific. 

It did, however, remind me of the times that I put forth effort into someone and the feelings weren't being reciprocated. Instead of ignoring him and having him continue to contact me, I just decided to nip it right then and there and just tell him how I feel. I felt as if I was polite about it and he got an answer, and we can both move on. If only it could go like this every time.... but it doesn't. And that's when I get to blog about it. 

Stay tuned..... 

Drinking and Online Dating Don't Mix

Hello.

I did something dumb.

I went out drinking and then came home and decided to message the ginger who I met at homecoming.

Here's how it went:

Title: Yo

Message:

Alright "Ginger",

I thought you were pretty awesome when I met you. This whole homecoming/online dating thing is weird, and I honestly will admit homecoming was kinda hazy. Anyways, I thought you seemed like a cool dude n then you popped up as the single out match of the day. I thought I'd go ahead n message you. Anyways, here's an attempt at messaging you. I hate to beat around the bush so here's to cutting the chase. I think you're awesome and I'll leave it at that. If the feeling isn't mutual, alrighty, I understand. Have a great thanksgiving and see ya around either way! Ttyl!

"Me"

Soooooo, he hasn't messaged back. 

I'm still single.

Yea. 

That happened. 

Hand to face. 

WHOAH; pretty much sums it up.

I have an update. 

Yesterday, while sitting at the doctor's office, I was playing around on my phone when all of a sudden it vibrates.
I thought "That's weird. Did someone just try and call me?"

I checked back to my call log and BAM. 

Yes sir, someone sure did. 

"Tom" did. 

I KNOW. I'm as shocked as you are! 

I was quite confused and literally in SHOCK. 

I have no idea if they even called my name to go back to the exam room. 

I was literally sitting there going "WTF?!"

Anyways, he even left a VOICE MAIL. 

I KNOW! 

So I listened to it. It went like this: 

"Hey, [me]. It's "Tom" calling it's about 10 to 4:00pm on Thursday, I wanted to call you n get a hold of you and  see what you are up to and how you've been. I was hoping that we could kinda get together sometime maybe next week, grab a bite to eat or something. Sorry, I've been kinda distant so I just wanted to talk to you about it. When you get a chance, give me a call back or whatever is easiest for you. Alright, talk to you later."

I was stunned. I didn't know what to think and I don't know what to think, still. 

Here'e my problem; guys seem to always do this to me. 

They disappear and then POOF, they come crawling back for more. 

I'm not sure what it is. I've been told I do this sexy lip thing. Maybe its my curvaceous bod. Maybe its my wit and charm. Maybe because I'm just down right awesome. Yea, I'm thinking what you're thinking; it's all of that. (Insert Sarcasm)

Anyways, after confiding in my closest male cohorts, as well as one married chick and one single chick, I decided to do this; call him back. Why? Simply because of curiosity. 

I want to hear what he has to say. I had already moved on from him and accepted the fact that he's just not that into me. I grieved, I wept some, and I ate junk food. All over a guy I saw for a few weeks. Yea, imagine what happens when I go through a break up; not pretty. (Are any break ups ever?) 

So, I finally got around to calling him back. I was prepared to listen and then speak my little mind that this behavior has been crap and I am not a happy camper about it. 

I got his voice mail.

I left a short message saying that it was me, what time, just returning his call, and to give me a call back whenever. Simple and short. Boom. 

About 30 min later, I was standing in the kitchen mixing lemonade and Fire Fly (hey, it was Thursday evening, don't judge) and had the UNC-VT game on. I thought to myself "Hmm, if he calls, would I be able to hear my phone over the tv?" The answer was no, or at least not in time. 

By the time I realized my phone was ringing, I had Fire Fly in hand which I finished pouring (priorities) and then darted across the living room to turn down the TV, which I FOR WHATEVER REASON couldn't turn it down because remotes are my kryptonite. By the time I grabbed my phone, I had missed the call. 

So, I immediately called right back. 

OF COURSE, he doesn't answer. 

Side note: why does this always happen? I think this is one of my top 5 pet peeves, when you call someone, miss it, call right back, and they don't answer. UM, WHY? 

Moving on..... He didn't leave another voice mail and neither did I. About 10 minutes later I decided to just send a quick text, because I was flustered and confused. No response back. 

I'm not surprised because he wakes up at 4:45am every morning and as a result goes to bed around 8ish. 

So for now, I'll wait and see what happens next. 

I'm curious as to what the outcome will be and if he'll get back in touch. 

And also, what he has to say for himself.

Another funny note; one of the sites does "Picks of the day" and I had two VERY INTERESTING picks. 

First up, the ginger. So, during homecoming weekend, I met this Ginger (redhead, for all of you who don't know the term) through friends and we made out a lot that night and ended up falling asleep on the hotel floor together. Next morning was awkward, to say in the least, but we're Facebook friends, so if he really wanted to get in touch with me again, he knows how. Anyways, a few weeks ago, I noticed he viewed my profile on the online dating website. When I logged in last night, BOOM, there he was. MY PICK OF THE DAY. This site really thinks we'd hit it off. Little does it know that we already did. 

Anyways, now he can see that I viewed him, again. Awkward. 

Second, one of my close guy friends was also a pick, yesterday. I sent him a text letting him know that he was one of my picks of the day. He texted back saying that I should click yes. I said I had already clicked no, but thought about clicking yes. In return, I "winked" at him instead. This is all out of fun. 

I'm not interested in him and I think the feeling is mutual. 

We're good friends and that's where it will stay. 

So, yesterday was eventful in terms of dudes. Almost tidal-wave-esque, you could say. 

"Josh"

Next: "Josh"

I met "Josh" this past weekend through friends. A few of us decided to venture into DC this past Saturday evening and one of my close friends decided to invite two fellas out with us after attending a BBQ. I wasn't really looking to meet anyone that evening, especially since I was the only girl out of 8 guys (I seriously need some more single lady friends, going out with guys is fun, but totally cramping my single-lady style). My friend showed up with the fresh bait and I honestly didn't think anything of it. This little fishy wasn't hungry.

We started off at one joint and then decided to mosey down the street to another bar I had never been to; I just wanted to try something different. "Josh" and I had spoken some here and there, but it wasn't clicking with me that I might find this guy interesting; I was being oblivious. It wasn't until we were at the next place that I really started to chime in; this guy was pretty awesome. We started to chat more and more, and the more I listened, the more I found this guy pretty awesome. There were a lot of things I liked about this guy; he was really smart and on just about every topic as well. He mentioned he's a Philadelphia sports team fan, which I wasn't thrilled about, but at least he didn't like New York (sorry, I despise them). We chatted a bit about work, college, music (which I am awful at, I am so tone deaf) and just about anything you would ask when meeting someone for the first time.

Eventually, it got late in the evening. Thank goodness, because some of my friends were noticing that "Josh" and I were flirting quite a bit but they decided to throw in the towel and head home. Finally, after most of my friends had left except two, I was really feeling this guy. I really wanted to kiss him, but didn't want to make it obvious. Just when I thought two of my friends weren't looking, we both leaned in for a quick kiss. Wroooong. I'm 99.9% sure that both of my friends saw this event. I felt kind of bashful but really wanted to kiss this guy more, so I dragged him to another area of the bar/dance floor and we kissed some more there. He was a phenomenal kisser. It had been a while, and several dudes later, to finally meet a guy who knew how to kiss.

Eventually it was quitting time and we decided to head out. Earlier in the evening we discovered that "Josh" lives in the same complex as my friend, which happens to be about three blocks down from my apartment. Since we were so close, he and I decided to split a cab ride home. However, we didn't exchange numbers. I was kind of bummed because I thought we really hit it off well enough that maybe we could hang out again. The next day later, I noticed my friend and "Josh" were now Facebook friends, so I toyed with the idea of friending him also. I decided to take the plunge and ended up sending him a request, but I guess to make it less awkward/obvious, I also friended his roommate who I had met that same night, abd he was also a cool dude. Eventually a few days later, I noticed he accepted.

That's pretty much where the story stops. I'm not really eager to pursue more of "Josh" mostly because I felt as if he were really interested, we would have exchanged numbers and I would have heard from him by now. Oh well, at least I met someone out and about through friends and it was a nice change of pace. Maybe we'll run into each other again. Who knows.

For now, I'm just going to keep swimming.