Craft Beer, Again.

Hello, again.

So I have another update.

After a little over a week, "Paul," the family friend, finally messaged me back to inform me he will be giving my number to his friend. He had nice things to say about his friend "Peter," and said if I had any questions to not hesitate to ask. It was a really pleasant message and kind of brightened my day! So for now, I wait.

I got this message while sitting in the movie theaters waiting for "Titanic" to begin; yes, I saw it once more in theaters to relive my preteen days, and it was just as good. I was excited in that moment when sitting in my popcorn-crusted seat, but then after the movie had ended, I didn't feel that same excitement as before, to be honest. Usually, I get rather excited about such things and for prolong periods of time (days, weeks, maybe months). I kind of am excited, but only slightly. I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but I'm not jumping up and down to see what adventure might unfold. I don't feel that same energy as before when it comes to dating. I just feel kind of blah.

In other news, I have my eye on another lad that I have met within recent weeks/month-ish. However, I decided I'm not going to blog about this one. I have my reasons and if something does come about, perhaps I may blog about it, but until then, I see no reason to get further into details.

I apologize for this awkward, sour-puss of a blog post. I guess it is a reflection of my current "I have no idea what I want in life," state of mind.

Update

I know, it's been a while.

I don't have much to report.

To sum up ladies' night: it was alright. I learned I don't have the game I once used to have. But, I think this is because I am not in a place right now where I want to meet anyone new. Since I'm not interested in meeting new guys, it shows when I "attempt" to talk to them.

"Tom" has sporadically been in touch. It is really not much of anything to post about other than he reaches out to me once in a while. Since he's been slammed with work, we haven't hung out and that's alright with me. Why? Because I'm glad that nothing went any further since he's been so swamped with work. I was in a relationship in which the ex-boyfriend  had 4-6 week periods of non-stop work and I was unable to see him (I know that sounds a little sketchy, but trust me, it is not, I just don't feel like explaining the nature of it). "Tom" is currently too busy to devote any type of effort towards seeing someone (or effort towards me) and I don't want to be a last priority; no one should be a last priority. Like I've said before, timing is everything.

If anything arises, I'll keep you posted!

Lulls

So, later, I realized that yesterday's post might of been.... weird. 

I'm not sure I fully grasp what unrequited love is, but it seemed relevant to what's been on my mind lately. 

However, now that I am no longer on any online dating site, I've had a lot of questions and been thinking "Now what? What do I do now?"

I've wanted to take some time for myself and accomplish some goals of mine.

However, I've still haven't shaken the feeling of wanting to meet new guys and see what else is out there.

One of the reason's I've stopped online dating is because I noticed how much time, energy, and effort I was putting into it and not in other areas of my life. It hit me that I need to put that same amount of time, energy, and effort into achieving those life long goals that I've had and that I'll meet people along the way.

This experience has been an interesting one. 

I've really enjoyed using this blog as an outlet  for describing the highs and lows of my dates and exploring who's out there. 

However, posts like these about thoughts and questions are an example of a lull; a reflecting period when there are no guys present in my life. The first 25 posts or so were the recap of 3 months of online dating.

 It didn't all happen at one time and thank god it didn't; that would be exhausting. 

I just happened to write it all in a matter of a week when really it took weeks.

I know my posts have been farther and fewer in between one another in the past few months, but that is the nature of dating. 

I don't go on dates every day, let alone every week. They just happen when they happen. 

I'm sorry if these past few posts aren't stories and bore you, but this is the speed of which dating takes in my life. 

Sometimes there are one or two, maybe three, guys who I am chatting with or have dates lined up. 

And then there are periods where there are NONE. 

My point is, not every post is going to be about some amazing or horrible date, and they aren't going to happen once or more times a week. 

They happen when they happen. 

So until then, hold tight. You know I'll write about it when it does happen. 

Unrequited

This is something that's been on my mind the past few days, so this post is really a stream of my thoughts, opinions, and questions that keep boggling my mind as of lately. I've seen it not only in my current situation, but also in that of others.

It's unrequited love.

I think almost everyone can relate to unrequited love to some degree.
There is always that yearning after someone who has you so blindsided that you may miss out on other, great individuals.

It's that "I like him/her but he/she doesn't like me back" situation.

I've analyzed and over analyzed this situation for days, weeks, months, possibly years on end as to how to get out of this funk.
I have no real answer, thought, nor opinion other than: time.

Time..... apart.

That's all I got for you.

Time away from said individual seems to be the only medicine that has worked best for me.
When I am in this type of situation, when I cannot for the life of me get over someone, it usually takes me some time to come to the realization when my feelings aren't being reciprocated and then it takes even more time to understand the "Why not?". And during all this time, I try to separate myself from them so I don't have any temptations or reasons to go back to the individual.
It is a sucky period of time and one I wish I could shorten.

This kind of connects back to an earlier blog post about wanting to know "why?" someone never returned your text, call, message, etc. and why things didn't work out. I understand that I'll never know why he never called back, or whatever it is he did or didn't do. However.....

I want to know why it's so difficult to get over some individuals than it is others. 
Why do we hang onto something that isn't there?
Why do we have such strong feelings for certain individuals who can't give us back what we need?
Why do we drive ourselves crazy over one person?

I try to convince myself that it's all in my mind and spin it with "I deserve someone who will treat me better. I deserve someone who will give me what I expect and demand out of a relationship. I don't deserve to be treated like this by someone.... anyone."

To an extent, I believe this is true. However, I still feel as if it only masks my feelings rather than resolving the issue at hand.
It excuses that I feel a certain way about someone that I can't seem to cut out.

You can't help how you feel, especially when something feels "different."
There is that un-explainable feeling you have as to why it feels right to you and no matter how hard you try, you can't explain that feeling to others. Or, is it just that it's nice to have someone to think about? Are we only kidding ourselves by doing this?

Overall, what I have found works best for me is recognizing that you, yes you, deserve someone who reciprocates those same feelings back and you shouldn't waste you time on someone who can't give you those feelings back. And the only way I've learned to heal those wounds from this "individual" who has caused you all this grief, is to distance yourself and give yourself the time to heal. Step back and focus on you and what you want rather than someone who can't give you what you want and need.

That's my two cents... or sand dollars, rather.