Guest Post: "Gary"

Hello all! I have a guest post for you all from my buddy "Gary." Enjoy!



If you ever had any questions about the gay dating scene in DC, rest assured it’s no different from the straight scene.  I recently went on, what I have no hesitation describing as, the worst date imaginable.  This was not a date where I look back and reflect on how terrible an evening it was.  No, I knew halfway through this was a disaster and I still had the second half to suffer through.

This was the second date with a guy named Nate, who I met on an online dating site.  Our first date had been sub-par, but I know first dates can be difficult so I decided to give it another shot.  Because the first date had been in my neck of the woods, we decided to meet downtown near his place.

I arrived downtown and was lucky to find parking on the street very quickly.  I gave him a call and let him know I had parked.  He said he was right around the corner and on his way.  Five minutes later, no Nate.  Ten minutes later, he texts me and says he is running a little late.  15 minutes later, no Nate.  Finally, after I had been standing on the street corner for 20 minutes, Nate shows up.  He had a bizarre excuse for being late.  He told me he accidentally sent a text to the wrong friend and that friend then became upset and a 20 minute text/call argument ensued.  

After waiting 20 minutes for him, we were finally on our way to the restaurant.  As we were walking, Nate mentions that the restaurant we are going to only accepts cash.  No surprise, Nate doesn’t have cash on him.  Not wanting to pick up his tab, I suggested we go to an ATM. Because he didn’t want to pay an ATM fee, he decides to go to the local grocery store 2 blocks down and get cash back.  As we were walking to the grocery store, he points out his apartment, which was 1 block from where I had been standing the previous 20 minutes.

When we arrived at the restaurant, cash in hand, we quickly got seated and ordered.  Throughout the entire dinner, our conversation was constantly interrupted with him continuing his text argument with his friend.  Personally, I believe that when out on a date, the phone is off limits, unless it’s important, in which case you apologize to your date.  I received no such apology.

As the dinner continued, the phone did eventually make it to his pocket.  We attempted to carry a conversation but it was going nowhere.  Fed up with the rudeness, and terrible conversation (I think he even started talking about a Law and Order episode) I tried giving him the verbal queues that I was ready to leave.  My “It’s getting late”, “I should be getting back” and “I don’t have much more time on my parking meter” were too subtle for Nate to pick up on.  Finally after the waiter mentioned that customers were waiting for a seat, we left the restaurant.  

As we walked back to my car I didn’t think the evening could get any worse.  I turned the corner and spotted the worst possible person in DC.  The devil’s own public servant.  A meter maid.  Walking away from my car.  The 20 minutes of waiting on the corner, the grocery store cash back, the long and pointless conversation had taken up the two hours I paid for on the meter. This date was going to cost me more than the $20 I spent on Italian food.




And there you have it, folks! Let's hope to hear more from "Gary"!