In a lull

So, I wish I had more exciting news to write about, but I don't. Currently, I am not chatting it up with any cuties; the well is quite dry. I could make something up, but that requires too much brain power.

I suppose I could talk about some of my past relationships, but those of you who know me, this will be far from anything new you have heard before, I'll spare you more wasted time.

These lulls happen and I think right now, that's a good thing. I've learned a lot in the past couple months about guys and myself. So, I think I should utilize this lull time to really focus on me and what I have gained from this experience.

One main thing I've learned about guys from this stint of online dating: If they are interested, you will KNOW.

Before, I would waste hours, days, WEEKS, and even possibly months trying to figure out if a guy is really interested me. I'd analyze every text, every conversation, every gesture, every THING between us and try to justify if he is really interested in me. Then, I learned it's much simpler than that. He'll make the effort. He'll let you know if he wants to see you. He'll contact you if he wants to chat. He'll make moves to be around you.

Now, I'm not saying us single ladies have to just sit around and wait; I hate waiting, I'm just as impatient as the next lassie. But my point is not to go too far out of your way to contact a lad. It gets to the point where it is.... smothering. And that is a turn off for both lassies and lads.

I understand the need "to know, just want to know" if he is or isn't interested. However, I came to the realization a couple months ago, thanks to my awesome male roommate at the time, that YOU'LL NEVER KNOW. It is just not that black and white. You don't know what's going on in his life. He may be interested but just not THAT interested. There may be some other girl. There may not be another girl but more so he just isn't ready himself to start seeing a girl. WHO KNOWS! I KNOW I DON'T! And I've come to terms with that and accepted it. You will never know and the MOST IMPORTANT POINT from this: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. It just is what it is. Move on.

That's another thing I've learned from this experience: if you aren't good enough for his time, then he is CLEARLY not good enough for YOUR time. Why would you want to go after someone who is not making YOU a priority just as much as you are making them?

In the past, I would get quite emotional about a guy not being interested in me, kind of goes hand in hand with analyzing everything between me and said guy and wasting so much time on just that. It's hard not to take it personally. You wonder what it is about you that has turned them off, or what you said, or what you did. But in the end, you are just not what they are looking for. It's kind of like.... college. You're accepted to some schools, because they see the potential in you and other schools don't. So, this point is, make the time and effort for those who are just as interested as you are to them and see that potential. There is no sense in pacing around and kicking yourself over something that didn't work out.

It's not you, it's them. You're awesome and you need someone just as awesome to be with. And whichever guy who has turned you down is clearly not as awesome.

Swim, my fellow fishies. Get out there and swim around. Be free. Eventually, you will find someone who can swim with you.