I personally feel like online dating still isn't widely accepted and because of this it took me a while to get over that feeling of "What will people think of me doing this?"
I was kind of reluctant to tell others "Hey! Guess what?! I'm meeting dudes on the internet!" Yea, that doesn't scream desperate at all (sike). However, I joined because I had quite a number of my friends tell me they had taken the plunge and decided to try out this still relatively new dating scene. That alone made me feel more comfortable with the idea of joining a site and that it's not as uncommon as I thought it was, overall.
One reason I decided to give this all a shot is that I got tired, very tired, very, very, very tired of trying to meet guys other ways. I wouldn't say I'm constantly on the prowl, but I do keep an eye out there if I just so happen to notice someone in particular. I don't consider myself one of those girls who complains about not having a boyfriend but all she does is sit around and whines about it (maybe this blog might counter this argument)and doesn't put herself out there for the world to see. I like to be an active person and involve myself in new and exciting experiences, as well as meeting new people. I've joined running groups, taken lessons for various activities, joined social sports leagues with other friends, and frequently go out on the weekends, whether its out with friends to a bar or doing some sort of activity, like tubing or skiing. I feel as though I'm putting myself out there, not to just meet guys, but to be social and to help keep an open mind about what this city and world has to offer.
Even though I actively put myself out there and making sure I'm not sitting on the couch every night, I really haven't been meeting quality guys who aren't looking for a one night thing. I'm not sure what I'M looking for; but I know I am not looking to just hook up with a guy. I thought maybe that if I tried one of these sites that I would actually meet someone who is looking to meet another someone and have it not be just about ONE thing. And 99.9%, this is true. The majority of the guys I have met are actually INTERESTED in meeting someone for WHO THEY ARE and not solely on physical needs alone. Yes, physical attraction is very important as well, but this is a matter of what you really look for in another individual longer term rather than what you want and need that night.
My overall experience with this has been better than I anticipated, that's for sure. At first, it was hard to filter the creeps from the normal guys. Once I got a feel for who seemed normal and who seemed down right psychotic, it made it a lot easier to message guys back, or even do the initiating myself. The first site I joined had a lot more creeps than normal guys, I felt, and I'm not sure if this is due to the fact that it is a "free" site. It being "free" probably does have something to do with it, so that is why I decided to join a site in which you had to subscribe to in order to meet the fellas. And let me tell you; there is a difference. I'm not sure why, but the guys I have met on the "paid" site are worlds better than on the "free" site. I'm not sure if it's because there is that monetary commitment, but it sure has made a noticeable difference between the two sites.
So, if you have ever thought about joining an online dating site but have been reluctant to do so, I say give it a shot. Just once. I've currently been doing this for three months now and have met 13 guys, some of which I got second and even third dates with, as well as at least talking and messaging with other guys. Nothing has worked out and I am a little bummed about it but at least I can say that I gave this a shot. I tried it. Maybe it didn't work out but I put myself out there, went out of my comfort zone and kept an open mind. It has been an experience, to say in the least, but has definitely helped me figure out what I'm looking for when I meet a new guy.
I'll still stick around with the online dating scene for another month or so, but I'll be honest in that it is starting to lose its luster. And who knows what will happen in a month.
For now, I'll just keep swimming in this sea full of... weird sea creatures, that's for sure.
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